Were these genuine flashbacks or something else?

angelxbaby

New Here
i never really get anything trauma wise like almost never (i don't think i even have ptsd) but last night i had some pretty shitty episode, i thought in the moment it was def multiple flashbacks and just intense trauma stuff, i thought there it had to be that, but after the fact im not actually sure. so just tell me what you think this is

so basically it started out by this sudden out of the blue anxiety, not like a panic attack, but just sharp anxiety that made me feel heavy, a little like drowning & like there was a kinda blurry glass in front of my eyes. it would dip in and out.
like it would spike then go down, and then at some point i felt in more as a drowning anxiety sensation more than just sharp anxiety and I realized that was exactly how I felt (i think) at the beggining of my main trauma.

I think i was like "it's exactly that" but im not 100% sure. i don't remember exactly how this happened (tw if you've had sexual trauma) but ik i felt weird touch like sensations on my stomach and kinda just around certain areas (this is what makes me hesitate wether this is like true or not, is that except for a few of those sensations, ik they were because of my covers, what i was wearing combined with heavy breathing & my heart beating faster. stuff that i'd usually not be aware of but bc i was hyperfixated on my body i could feel.

plus at the time i thought they had to be like from my trauma). like a minute later i started feeling this really pressing touch feeling on my stomach, didn't feel like the other ones. i took my covers off & racked up my top to test wether it was legit, and i'm pretty sure (don't really remember this part well) but after fading for 5 secs when I had racked my top up it reappeared and in like 5 secs it went from faint (i think, not sure bc i can't really remember that part) from really feeling like hands were touching me there distincly i think. not like a air tickle, but like a genuine deep touch. pretty suddently too.

and i know I had a violent spike of fear at that moment and I felt distincly thought (i think) that there was someone right on top of me at that moment. the airflow infront of me felt obstructed by that presence. but again can't be sure. i kinda curled up to not feel it, but it continued, my anxiety dropped, it was more like some more numby emotion thing i think and my heart out of nowhere started beating really really fast, way faster than when I was actually really anxious. my vision was blurry, felt off balance even when sitting up, and blocked off. i'm pretty sure.

that lasted only like 20 scs, then my heart rate went back down. and for the rest of the night juggled between feeling heavy & blocked off and numb or that same fear again with some block off. they would change every 5 scs between each other.

couldn't sleep obv and really felt really abnormal. like i felt removed and weird. only like 2 times i felt normal again but those times only lasted like 2 secs until out of the blue, i'd feel numb or anxious and weird again. felt that way for maybe 6 hours until i felt somewhat normal and so mentally exhausted that i just fell asleep.

today been feeling mostly normal, but when i woke up i was extremely mentally exhausted. never felt this way in my life. im not tired, it's just my mind that's tired. i slept for 7 hours and I felt that to an extreme, like too tired to feel anything. like i'd start feeling an emotion, negative or positive but then my mind would block it off cos i have no energy to feel it. got a lot better with coffee thought so idk if that invalidates it. also have gotten lower level spikes of that fear and some numbness today but mostly i'm normal but not completely, i think but idk. what do you think.
 

Skywatcher

MyPTSD Pro
I’m not sure how to answer this, but I felt bad that no one else had. It is a bit long to read so my concentration kind of wandered, but I think I got most of it. Mine don’t present that way, but it doesn’t mean that yours aren’t a flashback. You can learn some grounding tools to help you out of it in therapy or here in other posts. Sorry you are dealing with these sensations.
 

Chris416

New Here
i never really get anything trauma wise like almost never (i don't think i even have ptsd) but last night i had some pretty shitty episode, i thought in the moment it was def multiple flashbacks and just intense trauma stuff, i thought there it had to be that, but after the fact im not actually sure. so just tell me what you think this is

so basically it started out by this sudden out of the blue anxiety, not like a panic attack, but just sharp anxiety that made me feel heavy, a little like drowning & like there was a kinda blurry glass in front of my eyes. it would dip in and out.
like it would spike then go down, and then at some point i felt in more as a drowning anxiety sensation more than just sharp anxiety and I realized that was exactly how I felt (i think) at the beggining of my main trauma.

I think i was like "it's exactly that" but im not 100% sure. i don't remember exactly how this happened (tw if you've had sexual trauma) but ik i felt weird touch like sensations on my stomach and kinda just around certain areas (this is what makes me hesitate wether this is like true or not, is that except for a few of those sensations, ik they were because of my covers, what i was wearing combined with heavy breathing & my heart beating faster. stuff that i'd usually not be aware of but bc i was hyperfixated on my body i could feel.

plus at the time i thought they had to be like from my trauma). like a minute later i started feeling this really pressing touch feeling on my stomach, didn't feel like the other ones. i took my covers off & racked up my top to test wether it was legit, and i'm pretty sure (don't really remember this part well) but after fading for 5 secs when I had racked my top up it reappeared and in like 5 secs it went from faint (i think, not sure bc i can't really remember that part) from really feeling like hands were touching me there distincly i think. not like a air tickle, but like a genuine deep touch. pretty suddently too.

and i know I had a violent spike of fear at that moment and I felt distincly thought (i think) that there was someone right on top of me at that moment. the airflow infront of me felt obstructed by that presence. but again can't be sure. i kinda curled up to not feel it, but it continued, my anxiety dropped, it was more like some more numby emotion thing i think and my heart out of nowhere started beating really really fast, way faster than when I was actually really anxious. my vision was blurry, felt off balance even when sitting up, and blocked off. i'm pretty sure.

that lasted only like 20 scs, then my heart rate went back down. and for the rest of the night juggled between feeling heavy & blocked off and numb or that same fear again with some block off. they would change every 5 scs between each other.

couldn't sleep obv and really felt really abnormal. like i felt removed and weird. only like 2 times i felt normal again but those times only lasted like 2 secs until out of the blue, i'd feel numb or anxious and weird again. felt that way for maybe 6 hours until i felt somewhat normal and so mentally exhausted that i just fell asleep.

today been feeling mostly normal, but when i woke up i was extremely mentally exhausted. never felt this way in my life. im not tired, it's just my mind that's tired. i slept for 7 hours and I felt that to an extreme, like too tired to feel anything. like i'd start feeling an emotion, negative or positive but then my mind would block it off cos i have no energy to feel it. got a lot better with coffee thought so idk if that invalidates it. also have gotten lower level spikes of that fear and some numbness today but mostly i'm normal but not completely, i think but idk. what do you think.
Hey, I hope you're well. I was sexual abused as a child. So, I can relate. I just want to offer support.

Minus the physical sensations, I sometimes feel the way you described when I'm, for lack of a better word, triggered. It's just feels different than the adrenaline fuel flashbacks.

I also feel how you described in the morning. Sleep problem are common. My doctor ordered a sleep study and found that I have a mild sleep apnea; I stop breathing at night. I feel beat in the morning because my brain is sending chemical and physical signals to wake up and start breathing again.

Be well,

Chris
 

Bucky12

New Here
i never really get anything trauma wise like almost never (i don't think i even have ptsd) but last night i had some pretty shitty episode, i thought in the moment it was def multiple flashbacks and just intense trauma stuff, i thought there it had to be that, but after the fact im not actually sure. so just tell me what you think this is

so basically it started out by this sudden out of the blue anxiety, not like a panic attack, but just sharp anxiety that made me feel heavy, a little like drowning & like there was a kinda blurry glass in front of my eyes. it would dip in and out.
like it would spike then go down, and then at some point i felt in more as a drowning anxiety sensation more than just sharp anxiety and I realized that was exactly how I felt (i think) at the beggining of my main trauma.

I think i was like "it's exactly that" but im not 100% sure. i don't remember exactly how this happened (tw if you've had sexual trauma) but ik i felt weird touch like sensations on my stomach and kinda just around certain areas (this is what makes me hesitate wether this is like true or not, is that except for a few of those sensations, ik they were because of my covers, what i was wearing combined with heavy breathing & my heart beating faster. stuff that i'd usually not be aware of but bc i was hyperfixated on my body i could feel.

plus at the time i thought they had to be like from my trauma). like a minute later i started feeling this really pressing touch feeling on my stomach, didn't feel like the other ones. i took my covers off & racked up my top to test wether it was legit, and i'm pretty sure (don't really remember this part well) but after fading for 5 secs when I had racked my top up it reappeared and in like 5 secs it went from faint (i think, not sure bc i can't really remember that part) from really feeling like hands were touching me there distincly i think. not like a air tickle, but like a genuine deep touch. pretty suddently too.

and i know I had a violent spike of fear at that moment and I felt distincly thought (i think) that there was someone right on top of me at that moment. the airflow infront of me felt obstructed by that presence. but again can't be sure. i kinda curled up to not feel it, but it continued, my anxiety dropped, it was more like some more numby emotion thing i think and my heart out of nowhere started beating really really fast, way faster than when I was actually really anxious. my vision was blurry, felt off balance even when sitting up, and blocked off. i'm pretty sure.

that lasted only like 20 scs, then my heart rate went back down. and for the rest of the night juggled between feeling heavy & blocked off and numb or that same fear again with some block off. they would change every 5 scs between each other.

couldn't sleep obv and really felt really abnormal. like i felt removed and weird. only like 2 times i felt normal again but those times only lasted like 2 secs until out of the blue, i'd feel numb or anxious and weird again. felt that way for maybe 6 hours until i felt somewhat normal and so mentally exhausted that i just fell asleep.

today been feeling mostly normal, but when i woke up i was extremely mentally exhausted. never felt this way in my life. im not tired, it's just my mind that's tired. i slept for 7 hours and I felt that to an extreme, like too tired to feel anything. like i'd start feeling an emotion, negative or positive but then my mind would block it off cos i have no energy to feel it. got a lot better with coffee thought so idk if that invalidates it. also have gotten lower level spikes of that fear and some numbness today but mostly i'm normal but not completely, i think but idk. what do you think.
Hi I was sexually assaulted and I know what you are feeling I get the same thing happen. I get a random burst of anxiety then it looks like I'm looking through a foggy glass. Then it moves back and forth and I see clearly again then my vision comes back. Sometimes I get the physical sensations you were talking about as if someone is touching me like it happened, it feels terrible. Then I start to feel very numb. At this point most of the time I end up blacking out and having no memory of what happened or falling asleep. When I wake up I feel drained and extremely tired. Most of the time these are how my flashbacks are.
 

shimmerz

MyPTSD Pro
It sounds to me like something is coming up for you. I would be curious to know if something happened last night to trigger this up. Did you see somebody from your past for instance? Watch a movie that had some sexual content in it? I mean, it could be anything but it sounds like whatever happened to you is leaking through for some reason. it also sounds like it messed you up some. Even reading your posting you are having a difficult time keeping on track with your words, which is a 'thing' for most of us.

I would suggest looking into a trauma therapist so you can learn some tools to help you be less affected by what happened to you. It is clear from your reaction that you haven't resolved it so I would say start with learning how to stabilize (ground) yourself. Best of luck to you.
 

Bucky12

New Here
It sounds to me like something is coming up for you. I would be curious to know if something happened last night to trigger this up. Did you see somebody from your past for instance? Watch a movie that had some sexual content in it? I mean, it could be anything but it sounds like whatever happened to you is leaking through for some reason. it also sounds like it messed you up some. Even reading your posting you are having a difficult time keeping on track with your words, which is a 'thing' for most of us.

I would suggest looking into a trauma therapist so you can learn some tools to help you be less affected by what happened to you. It is clear from your reaction that you haven't resolved it so I would say start with learning how to stabilize (ground) yourself. Best of luck to you.
It happens a lot not just last night almost everyday.Most of the time this happens before I go to bed. Sometimes it is lead from a trigger but often not. Yea I think I definitely need to see a trauma therapist to really figure out some tools to help me relieve some of these symptoms. I just currently don't have the money or in the right situation to go see one.
 
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