What are you doing (or not doing) for Father's Day?

Roland

Confident
I hate father's day, my father is abusive, and I just can't be all holly, jolly merry for others that have "good fathers". I'm very religious/spiritual, so every year I would be at church and try to swallow my contention and be "happy" for other people.

I'm not doing it this year, f*ck it.

I give my transference dad a father's day card every year, because I think that's good, but I am not putting myself in the same position of going to church, getting triggered, swallowing it, crying, hiding in children's church, to still have the same shitty experience. (Skipping church is not normal for me lol, so it's definitely weird, but any church service I go to would talk about fathers so yeah).

So that said, I'm sure some of you are in the same boat, maybe it's father's day like me, or mother's day, Christmas, whatever. How are you celebrating or avoiding the celebration? I'm thinking about going to the beach or something. Makes me want to build a band of misfits like myself and have an anti-celebration.
 
I'm a dad but my family will be at my parents' house on Father's Day (assuming no one gets sick again), so the gift of my company will be the only thing I'll be getting for my own dad. If we can actually travel out there, that will be the only gift I'll need.

It sucks that Father's Day is a shitty day for so many of us.
 

Roland

Confident
I'm a dad but my family will be at my parents' house on Father's Day (assuming no one gets sick again), so the gift of my company will be the only thing I'll be getting for my own dad. If we can actually travel out there, that will be the only gift I'll need.

It sucks that Father's Day is a shitty day for so many of us.
Hopefully, you can enjoy some part of that. It's gotta be an added level of *stuff* that you're a dad yourself.

Yeah, it really does. The years I hid in children's church, it was so weird being in there with other adults that were avoiding father's day and then hyping up the kids about how their "Father loves them" and knowing darn well that only half of their fathers are decent humans.
 

MrMoonlight

MyPTSD Pro
It will be a sad day for me. One of loss...and 50 year old memories. My dad died a few months ago and I'm still having a lot of trouble. Maybe I will see a movie on father's day... something to look forward to and take my mind off the day.

I will also send an album to my marine dad...try to shift myself into thanks.
 

OliveJewel

MyPTSD Pro
Holidays in general were confusing and stressful for me as a kid. As an adult I developed a numbness to holidays, mostly dismissing them, until I had kids of my own. I still feel conflict because I want to flee from holiday celebrations yet still support my kids’ childhood experiences.

This weekend I have no kids with me so I’ll just ignore the Fathers Day. My lousy ex still wishes me happy Mother’s Day, but he’s a narcissist so it’s just a way to creep into my thoughts. I won’t wish him happy Father’s Day.

My dad who I’m no-contact with lives about a mile from my house. He’s just a gross person all around.

going to the beach or something. Makes me want to build a band of misfits like myself and have an anti-celebration.
Love it! And going to the beach, yes please! I won’t be able to go this year but I might be able to drive up to the river and go tubing at some point!

Maybe I’ll try to do some art for an anti-celebration. Celebrate how amazing my life is without my dad and ex.
 

Roland

Confident
Holidays in general were confusing and stressful for me as a kid. As an adult I developed a numbness to holidays, mostly dismissing them, until I had kids of my own. I still feel conflict because I want to flee from holiday celebrations yet still support my kids’ childhood experiences.

This weekend I have no kids with me so I’ll just ignore the Fathers Day. My lousy ex still wishes me happy Mother’s Day, but he’s a narcissist so it’s just a way to creep into my thoughts. I won’t wish him happy Father’s Day.

My dad who I’m no-contact with lives about a mile from my house. He’s just a gross person all around.


Love it! And going to the beach, yes please! I won’t be able to go this year but I might be able to drive up to the river and go tubing at some point!

Maybe I’ll try to do some art for an anti-celebration. Celebrate how amazing my life is without my dad and ex.
That sounds good. It's definitely hard to be there for your kids, but not there for the holidays xD
 

caroline_13

Confident
I am struggling with this.

A lot.

My dad enabled abuse, and perpetrated his own kind, for years. He is still the same.

I have found my balance (the only kind there is) is having minimal contact with them, instead of none. I'm planning on sending him a card.

Lately, what he does is call me on my birthday or Christmas to talk: days that are the most important for me not to talk to him. It's such a control gesture.

I can get through the day by sticking my head in the sand, and I Don't want to take a phone call or deal with my mom's texts which may also come, but then I would feel guilty.
 

Roland

Confident
I am struggling with this.

A lot.

My dad enabled abuse, and perpetrated his own kind, for years. He is still the same.

I have found my balance (the only kind there is) is having minimal contact with them, instead of none. I'm planning on sending him a card.

Lately, what he does is call me on my birthday or Christmas to talk: days that are the most important for me not to talk to him. It's such a control gesture.

I can get through the day by sticking my head in the sand, and I Don't want to take a phone call or deal with my mom's texts which may also come, but then I would feel guilty.
It's definitely hard, I'm complete no contract with my dad but it took a while for me to get there
 

caroline_13

Confident
It's definitely hard, I'm complete no contract with my dad but it took a while for me to get there
I broke down after I wrote my first post a few minutes ago.

I recognize that I do not want to talk to my dad.

I also see that what is keeping me from feeling okay about not wanting to talk to him are things I should NOT care about.

I also see that I am stuck in fear of things that happened in the past, and may never happen again.
 
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