I am the youngest of 5 girls and it hasn't always been an easy role in the family. Today I realized that since I became an aunt at age 5, then the babies kept coming, I got to be part, a big part of their lives growing up. I have a lot of memories that I otherwise would not have. Went from helper, to babysitter, to at time substitute parent.
I found that there's a lot of value for me watching TV shows or movies about people who have addictions, have suffered trauma, and who have come from backgrounds like mine. This stuff reminds me that I'm not alone in my experience, that I am fighting the good fight. Also that many have it worse, and I'm not a complete loser.
Today: I found: that my desire to rush through healing is so that it can't hurt me anymore.
First time for me to realize that and I like it. It at least explains why my T always saying "there's no rush on healing" it will take time"
I found that I am gonna have to force myself to slow down. I physically cannot keep up with the pace that I had been used to in the past. Lung disease is progressing and I must force myself to slow down. No more getting in a hurry.