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What Do I Do Now?

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KT229

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Ok, I'm fighting between being ticked off that I've let this happen to me and wanting to believe this will all go away. Meanwhile, everything else in my life is going away, my work, my family, my friends, my sleep, my sanity and memory. I'm either on the verge of a break through or breakdown, and if I was a betting person I'd put my money on the latter. The scary thing is I now just want more than anything for this too all stop more than I want all of what I've lost back. Just to stay home, sleep, with no memories, no fear, just that.

I've read quite a few posts about what others are facing and how the deal with it, the nightmares, the flashbacks, etc. I've experienced in the last month or so quite a bit... but not all of them (most) and one reaction or symptom after another with no break. I'm not sure quite what to do. I really would like it if I didn't have to leave my room for a couple of weeks but since I have kids. Not possible. That's the only thing that seems to bring any kind of peace, of course the nightmares but with a sleep aid that can help. Any suggestions...
 
Welcome to the forum, KT.

My suggestion is to read through the information sections. Pick a few things and try them a few times (or more.) Each of us has to experiment to find what works for us. I'm not sure of what symptoms you are generally asking for help with. Could you be more specific?

bec
 
I guess the worst right now is the flashbacks... and then I kind of zone out, then I have this almost uncontrollable urge to just get in my car and drive as fast as I can to anywhere other than where I am. When I try to sleep, bad dreams, I keep waking up in total fear... I just started back to work part time and it's everything I can do to get there... and stay. I'm forgetting really important stuff. that's just today. This is getting to be exhausting.
 
Well for the flashbacks, you need to first, recognize that it is a flashback. Ground yourself (that means to recognize that it's a memory and not happening to you in the hear and now) and work through the anxiety and fears by using negative vs. positive self talk. I would suggest looking in the anxiety, interpersonal and ptsd information sections for further ideas along those lines.

It does take work and time. You won't get it to work like magic right off the bat. This is something that is a work in progress. We get better at it the more we try it.

As for the nightmares, that is working on your fears (again the negative and positive self talk) and dealing with your trauma (exposure therapy, CBT, trauma diaries.)

Really wish I could say do this and it works fast (hehe boy don't I wish!)

Hope that was helpful somehow. Your not alone though. We all struggle through these!

bec
 
Also read this attachment: [DLMURL]http://www.ptsdforum.org/thread2296.html[/DLMURL]

I find it helps to explain to us.. why we do different things to remove our stressors.

bec
 
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KT it's going to be hard, but you can fight it. I have been fighting a very similar problem for some time now. Far from easy. I'll have you in my prayers.
 
There are times when I had to take things day by day or even hour by hour. Do whatever it takes to soothe yourself. I found it helpful to stop the negative self talk which tends to add to the 'crazy' feelings.
 
Thank you for the advice... I'm new to this and I really don't even know where to begin. Huge step for me to even post here.

I'm still struggling with admitting I have this problem mainly because I don't want to accept what a great "going away present" this was from a very long abusive relationship. And what joy it would bring to my "X" to know it.

Symptoms have been off and on ever since I left him. But this past summer... well too many and too often for me to ignore anymore to say this will pass. For the first time the other night I was with someone and for a short period of time...this is awful... I wasn't sure who I was with or where I was. It scared the Hxxx out of me.
 
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