What do you do when being social is too difficult or a trigger?

[silverlinings1069]

I am trying to remember things I liked to do before fawning became my life. And going out is not an option right now. Too many people....lol (I live in Florida - snowbirds all the time now) I just remembered I used to sew. On a real sewing machine. And made clothing. How did I forget that? And I was pretty good. Not sure if I was forced to sew or not but there it is. I have forgotten all of the things I liked. What do you like to do?

Also, how do ease back in to social stuff? I am not one that eases into anything. Bull - china shop, yeah that is me. I am game for any and all responses. Thank you and please remember to take care of yourself.

 

[SophieBernstein]

Hi! I spent a long time confined at home due to social anxiety and body dysmorphia, which left me with no friends. It was pretty sad. So, I started looking for groups on social media in my city, and now I don't have close friends, but I have social contacts. If I want to do something, I know I can call someone, unlike before.

I'm from Spain, but I'm sure there are similar groups in the USA.

I enjoy archery, kickboxing, yoga, art.... I discovered these interests over time; you just need to experience new things!!
Good luck! <3

 

[EveHarrington]

Is taking a walk an option for you? Maybe in the off hours of the day? This way you can work on getting out of your home, but not be in a public place like a store that’s crowded.

 

[arfie]

I am not one that eases into anything. Bull - china shop, yeah that is me.

ditto here. all or nothing for me. don't mess with mister in between. perfectionist maximus. . . alas, that particular perfectionism paralyzed far more often than it made me a superstar in whatever opportunity presented in my life. learning how to take small, uncertain steps might have been the most important study in my own recovery. i doesn't have to be a master and/or superstar. just showing up is often enough.

 

[Survivor3]

I stay home, go home, listen to music, read, eat. Sit in the garden.

 

[FDT]

I decided not to be social anymore—5 years and counting. From being a total extrovert who enjoyed being with people to living in a hole where only 4 more people can enter. I can't stand it anymore. A bereaved parent here. I dislike small talk, so there is nothing to say to anyone. If asked, "How are you doing?" people want to hear that I am fine because my sadness and depression from my tragedy and trauma make them uncomfortable. So, asocial for life. That's all I have been doing for five years, and I can't see it will ever change. All my friends were very supportive, but I lost them because most of them believe that I should have turned the grief switch off a long time ago.

 

[silverlinings1069]

I decided not to be social anymore—5 years and counting. From being a total extrovert who enjoyed being with people to living in a hole where only 4 more people can enter. I can't stand it anymore. A bereaved parent here. I dislike small talk, so there is nothing to say to anyone. If asked, "How are you doing?" people want to hear that I am fine because my sadness and depression from my tragedy and trauma make them uncomfortable. So, asocial for life. That's all I have been doing for five years, and I can't see it will ever change. All my friends were very supportive, but I lost them because most of them believe that I should have turned the grief switch off a long time ago.

I am so sorry for your loss. I am not a fan of small talk either. It is so difficult for me to communicate anyway. I talk too much and say all the wrong things. I hope you are able to find peace. Please take care of yourself. And thank you for sharing.

 

[CooCoo4CocoaPuffs]

I can handle talking with one person but I have to feel like I can flee anytime I want so that’s awkward. I guess I’m a selectively social introvert. All my “friends” are online, now. I tried to make an IRL friend but no luck, yet. I think next year I’m going to take up quilting and maybe make a friend or even a really good acquaintance that way.

Since you have sewed in the past I think it will all come back to you; maybe try quilting or sewing a bag. Also, hand embroidery is something I do. I find it a great coping mechanism; distracts me from my daily hell.

 

[silverlinings1069]

I can handle talking with one person but I have to feel like I can flee anytime I want so that’s awkward. I guess I’m a selectively social introvert. All my “friends” are online, now. I tried to make an IRL friend but no luck, yet. I think next year I’m going to take up quilting and maybe make a friend or even a really good acquaintance that way.

Since you have sewed in the past I think it will all come back to you; maybe try quilting or sewing a bag. Also, hand embroidery is something I do. I find it a great coping mechanism; distracts me from my daily hell.

Thank you. I love your idea of quilting. I have tossed it around...but embroidery, I forgot all about that. I did that with my granny. Good luck with your goals.

 

[CooCoo4CocoaPuffs]

Thank you. I love your idea of quilting. I have tossed it around...but embroidery, I forgot all about that. I did that with my granny. Good luck with your goals.

PM me if you want to try cross stitching; I know tons of sites with legal freebies. Also, online shops . Check to see if you have an LNS. You can use your sewing skills to make project bags for yourself. Nicer than ziplocks lol.

 

[Nessa7]

Hi! I spent a long time confined at home due to social anxiety and body dysmorphia, which left me with no friends. It was pretty sad. So, I started looking for groups on social media in my city, and now I don't have close friends, but I have social contacts. If I want to do something, I know I can call someone, unlike before.

I'm from Spain, but I'm sure there are similar groups in the USA.

I enjoy archery, kickboxing, yoga, art.... I discovered these interests over time; you just need to experience new things!!
Good luck! <3

My approach is similar, but I focus on book clubs. It's one of the few social activities that encourages bringing notes about what you want to say.

 

[Friday]

Act as if… or not.

The end result?

Is far more interesting or not, a Q.