Sexual Assault What do you think happened?

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GreySouled

New Here
Fifteen years ago, a teenage girl is told by her drug addicted mother one day after school that she must go and babysit for a stranger one night: a woman, a nurse, who has two toddler boys. The young girl is used to taking care of other people's children, so doesn't really mind since it's a chance to get out of the house for once. The nurse comes to pick her up and take her to her house. It seems like they drive for a long while, definitely outside the boundaries of her town. The car drives through tall grass and finally stops at a small house in the middle of seemingly nowhere. She has two boys, ages 2 and 3. She says help yourself to anything in the fridge. After the mother-nurse leaves for the evening, the girl feeds the boys and herself from the leftover noodle casserole in the fridge. After the boys go to bed, she tries to find something to watch on TV, unsuccessfully. Settles for "Seinfeld". The night hours drag on, 11:00, 12:00, 1:00am. Finally, the nurse-mother comes home...with two men - maybe 20s or 30s. The teenage babysitter covers herself with a blanket and pretends to be asleep on the sofa, while the three of them go upstairs for a short time. She can hear the woman laughing. She expects the three of them to be engaging in some sort of sex. Finally, they all come back downstairs. The woman calls the girl's name and so she pretends to slowly awaken. The woman tells her that the girl's mother has said it's okay for the two men to drive her home. Immediately, the girl senses that something is not right. Her mother may be on drugs, but surely, she wouldn't disregard her firstborn daughter's personal safety - let alone virtue - like this. But what choice does she have? At around 2am she climbs aboard their dark SUV. She doesn't know where she is, doesn't know what town she's in and doesn't know how to get back home. She tries to describe the area where she lives, but is unable as her family doesn't have a car, and she doesn't leave her house except for going to school and returning home. After driving around for a while, the SUV stops at a cemetery. The car runs idle, the driver and front passenger - both men unknown to her, men that would come home with a woman and go upstairs with her to do who know what while her innocent little boys were asleep a few feet away - both sat there looking forward and not saying anything...for the longest time. The teenage girl remembers sitting in the rear seat of the SUV thinking to herself, "Oh my God, this is it. This is how it's going to happen." It seemed like the silence dragged on for several minutes. Darkness outside the cemetery. No one inside the vehicle saying anything.
The next thing the teenage girl remembers is walking through her front screen door. Her drug addict mother and stepfather are sitting on the sofa in the dark living room lit up only by the television. Her mother asks her if she has the money. Apparently, the nurse was supposed to give the girl moneyh for babysitting? That never happened.

My question to you folks is, what do you think happened at the cemetery? Or rather, what do you think the chances are that the two strange men driving around a fairly attractive (not that that matters) and naive teenage girl in the wee hours of morning, who doesn't know how to get back home, would stop at a darkened cemetery for an unknown amount of time, and do nothing to her? She remembers silently freaking out to herself, and then walking through the front door. No idea how she ever managed to direct them to her house. Remember, this was before everyone had a cell phone/GPS.
 

EveHarrington

MyPTSD Pro
Are you talking in the third person because admitting this happened to you is just too hard to do?

It's true that people block out trauma.

But I think it would be wretched for anyone here to say that you were assaulted or raped.

I think you're just going to have to wait for the memories to come back.
 

Friday

Moderator
Guys pulled over and waited for you to be able to describe where you lived?
Guys pulled over and got into an argument about whether to take you back to nurses?
Guys pulled over and got out their maps?
Guys pulled over and debated about taking you to the hospital because their shift starts soon and having mom pick you up? (Nurses usually bring home med staff, sometimes cops/firefighters, but most commonly it's coworkers)
Guys pulled over and debated about nurses, hospital, or back to theirs until morning because they were too tired to keep driving circles?
Guys pulled over and one goes to take a leak?

1,000 possibilities here. Most of them harmless. Clearly, you think this was sexual assault since you posted it here. But failing that? Really far too many possibilities to even begin hazarding a guess. Even the fact that the memory is blanked out isn't really telling. As maybe you remember everything from while you were scared, but once they registered as safe (whatever happened at the cemetery relieving your fears instead of confirming them) nothing really logged because the fear that was outlining everything was gone. Shrug. Just as possible as them being freaks and something terrible happened. No way for me to say.
 

Sideways

Moderator
Dark SUVs didn’t get invented till a good 10 years after mobile phones became staple. Cemeteries and stepdads and babysitter horror? Too many cliches in one breathe. Sorry.
 

Suzetig

Sponsor
men that would come home with a woman and go upstairs with her to do who know what while her innocent little boys were asleep a few feet away
Men that would come home and have consensual sexual with an adult woman? Whose little boys were still innocent because their mum had sex while they were sleeping?

I'm assuming this is about you - whether fabricated or you genuinely think it happened. I'm wondering g how else you were going to get home from this middle of nowhere babysitting job if the two guys hadn't given you a lift? The mum couldn't leave her kids so where you just intended to stay there all night?

There are a hundred different explanations for what might have happened, some of which might be sinister but many of which are completely innocent.
 

GreySouled

New Here
Um. Wow. Trying to calm myself down right now, stop the heavy throbbing in my arms and chest and throat. Yes, if some sicko were to come on here and fabricate something like this for whatever reason, I agree that that would be beyond horrible. But this is a memory/gap of mine from when I was around 15. Besides this I also was raped as a small child, so pardon me if I didn't give my whole life story before asking for an opinion on something.

This real life event took place in 2002; pretty sure they had dark SUVs back then. Could have been a Jeep. Or maybe the pitch black of 2am made it look darker, who knows. Yes, there were cell phones in 2002, but not everyone had one like it seems they do today.

The nurse did not go to work that night; she was out at a bar or some place like that. I found out later she was also a junkie who shot up and bled on our kitchen floor.

Everything I now regret writing in the original post is absolutely true. I am fully aware that it kind of sounds like something out of a cheap horror movie. Precisely why I posed the question...to get some other ideas because my mind only goes to one conclusion as to what happened that night in a strange vehicle with two strange men I didn't know in front of a wrought iron cemetery gate. I understand and agree that somehow someway I could have managed to get home unharmed, but if that's the case, why don't I remember?

You guys need to ease up.
 

Sideways

Moderator
Recounting the actual events of that night: you went to babysit for a nurse that your mum knew. First time you’d met her, but it seemes it went fine. Nurse bought some friends home, and they were able to drive you home (because obviously nurse couldn’t leave - she had a 2 year old and a 4 year old). The car pulled over at some point. But you got home in one piece and your parents weren’t concerned.

What you have written? Is a narrative. And I’m sorry if you have a history of abuse, but if that’s the case, then you realise that constructing a narrative? Rather than talking through the truth? Is unhealthy and counterproductive (putting it mildly). The fluff you’ve added? Is really quite disturbing.

Asking a bunch of complete strangers to come up with alternative endings as some kind of “create your own adventure”? Is all kinds of unhealthy. Not to mention that it really doesn’t help (at all) in filling any holes in your memory about what factually happened that night, and seems to only serve to invoke the nightmares of both you and the audience here who, as I said, have lived experience of the nightmare version that you’ve not-too-subtly inferred to.

We do things that are pretty messed up sometimes, and if you have a history of abuse (that you know about)? That’s the part that needs healing. That’s the part that needs empathy, compassion, courage, time, support. And you will find that in spades here. For actual events.

But narratives? Create Your Own Adventure horror stories? That’s not healthy. It’s not helpful. Not for you and your reality, and not for the people coming to the site for real support with their realities.

If you can, try and ditch the narrative. We support real people here, fiction is best saved for different forums.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
Ok, lets go to when you got home. Were your clothes in disarray, were you sore or feeling as if something sexual happened without your permission? How did you feel the next few days... Did you ever babysit for the woman again?
Something is telling you something happened... can you describe how that feels to you??
Lets try to go with what you do remember, or remember thinking and feeling... No way could we know what happened.... lots of questions I know, just trying to help you find your own answer.
 

GreySouled

New Here
@Ragdoll Circus , what fluff have I added? My "mother" and her husband weren't concerned because they were on drugs, were constantly bringing addicts and dealers into the house. What I've written here is the truth. I don't understand your bit about a narrative. I know that I repress things quite easily. I repressed my youngest sister's entire existence for a whole year after she was taken away by her father. Then when I remembered that I had a sister, I couldn't remember what she looked like. So any gap in my memory, especially one involving such creepy circumstances, is troubling to me.

@ladee , I do not remember at all how I felt walking into my house other than betrayed, like my mother had sold me out and put me in danger for $20 that was never given anyway. I just remember going through the door and her asking about money. I assume i just went to bed because it was late but i don't specifically remember anything after walking in. I never saw the nurse again, nor had I ever seen her before that day. She was not a friend of my mother's; she was a drug addict whose path happened to cross hers.
 

The Albatross

MyPTSD Pro
I fail to see how asking people, generally who are reliant to what you share and can not affirm or deny anything you say, what they think happened is useful. Agree with Suzetig & Ragdoll.

What does your therapist say?

Memories can become fun house mirrors... your opening post is loaded with all manner of impressions and it's a detriment to you if a bunch of people on a forum try to tease it all out. Consult your professional.
 
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