What does "feeling present" feel like?

Freida

Sponsor
T says all the time that our goal is to get me to be in the present, rather than feeling like I have a foot in both the past and present worlds. Yesterday I realized I have no idea what that means. I was on a long car trip over the weekend and I kind of felt checked out but I wasn't having the never ending intrusive thoughts that are always in my mind. And I was able to push away the few that came up. So does that mean I was "present?" Or was I in "not here" mode and just going thru the motions of pretending I'm ok?

I've lived in two worlds for so long I'm not sure how to know if I've left one behind
What does it feel like to be present?
How do I know if I am?
 

Teasel

Not Active
What comes to mind is something to do with noticing stuff rather than being in it.

So I might kind of take a step back from what is going in in my mind so as to look at what is going on in my mind. They talk about being the witness in mindfulness stuff.

So I might still be having intrusive thoughts or experiencing certain symptoms but I'd be noticing them rather than being hook line & sank by em.
 

Teasel

Not Active
After doing the dropping anchor exercises here I feel particularly present. There are 4 lengths to choose from. Between 40 seconds and 11 minutes
 

Chris-duck

MyPTSD Pro
So I might still be having intrusive thoughts or experiencing certain symptoms but I'd be noticing them rather than being hook line & sank by em
This is how I feel when I'm disocciated. So I wonder if it's maybe different for everyone? But yeah, I dunno.

I'm watching this thread for answers anyway. Sorry I have no real answers.
 

Freida

Sponsor
@Teasel Thank you! I think those exercises are going to be really helpful
This is how I feel when I'm disocciated
Yep -- that's my thing too. How do I know dissociated from present. T and I talked about it a bit -- she said dissociated is when you lose track of where you are or have been, present is being here. But if I"m being here but seeing it from "there" am I still here? ugh....
 

LittleBigFoot

Confident
When I feel dissociated I feel numb and foggy. Like I hear you, I see you, I mostly know where I am but it’s foggy. Similar to how you feel when you have a really bad flu for instance, you’re there but everything has a coating of being out of it. I can function, mostly, but nothings quite absorbed and it may take me a minute to register or remember what I’m doing when I’m doing it. I often feel uncomfortable in my skin, everything feels hot, heavy, and cumbersome.

When I feel present I actually physically feel the air around me, I actually hear the birds or animals in a non foggy/ultra clear way. I feel lighter, colder, and like I’m awake, fully awake. And generally happier and calmer. I’m “calm” when dissociated but not really because there’s an undercurrent of anxiety. But when present that anxiety is largely gone leaving only the calm and peaceful feeling. Unfortunately it doesn’t last long.

The way I get there is spending time outside. I haven’t found another way that works as effectively. But if I hole up inside constantly it definitely gets worse. And I don’t mean just 5 minutes outside, I mean go and spend a few hours hiking or something and somewhere halfway is when I finally begin feeling present and it only lasts until like an hour or two after I’ve gotten back in my car or house.
 

mylunareclipse

MyPTSD Pro
When I feel present, I can feel the wind on my face, hear the talk of the people in the park, smell the flowers that our blooming and I am amazed by their colors. I feel awe for kids or dogs playing outside. I might feel hunger and look forward to eating. One hour of work feels like one hour of work (not like 10 hours of scrolling endlessly online and not knowing where time went).
 

internal

Sponsor
T says all the time that our goal is to get me to be in the present, rather than feeling like I have a foot in both the past and present worlds.
my therepist says things to me this way all of the time and i will be very honest and i apolegize if this is offensive: it sounds like a lot of woo-woo crap to me. "be present, stay grounded."

some thing about this language just does not compute for me. because a lot of the actieveties for grounding are directly triggering to me. (breathing, yoga, massage, exercise, all of that.)

or they are useless (count the objects in the room, what color is the door.)

all of this to say that i do not know how one remains present especeally in the middle of a flash back. the only thing that i have found that helps is to be able to recegnize that a flash back is happening.

and to try and regulate and disengage and snap my self out of it. perhaps that is staying present?
 

Chris-duck

MyPTSD Pro
some thing about this language just does not compute for me. because a lot of the actieveties for grounding are directly triggering to me. (breathing, yoga, massage, exercise, all of that.)
So for me, grounded does actually mean feeling bad most of the time. As in, that's what my T also considers grounded. Not in a flashback obviously cos that's not grounded. But also, not avoiding the fact I feel bad. So grounding is uncomfy for me because I'm dissociating away the uncomfy feelings usually. I don't think grounded = feeling calm applies to everyone or their situation.
 

internal

Sponsor
But also, not avoiding the fact I feel bad. So grounding is uncomfy for me because I'm dissociating away the uncomfy feelings usually. I don't think grounded = feeling calm applies to everyone or their situation.
thank you for this chris because of this sounds so very similer to me. i am uncomfertable all of the time and this must be what the present feels like?

and that we are avoiding to feel this way. often times that my brain switches it all off and my feeling all goes away. and i seem to be normal. my therepist says this is not grounded but it is dissoceation.

that if i am calm and in control that it seems to actually worry my t because she thinks that my mental procoesses is doing some thing that is emergent. bad feelings and bad thoughts, off-switch.
 
Top