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What does it mean to be a good person?

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This morning I said "I am a good person" to myself for the first time, and I started to feel ... things. I can't identify these feelings except there is a whole big ball of confusion mixed in.

I have just recently been able to tell myself that I am not a bad person and actually believe it. I am NOT a bad person.

But telling myself I am a good person seems like a bridge too far for me, because if I am a good person, that must also mean there are bad people. And while I believe there are people out there who have done the most despicable, horrible, inhuman things ... my personal philosophy tells me that there are no bad people, just severely damaged people who do terrible things. (I'm not sure there are good people, either - just people who do good things?)

I know many will disagree, and maybe I'm wrong. But how can I reconcile wanting to be a good person or even BEING a good person with the fact that if I am a good person, it follows that there must be bad people out there as well. If there are no bad people - just people who do bad things - there must also be no good people either ... and I want so much to be a good person.

I'm sorry if this makes no sense. I am very confused.
 
I said "I am a good person" to myself for the first time
Yay! Yes you are.
Congratulations for being able to voice it.

just people
I think this is the issue. Bad people are considered bad because of things they do, say, attitude they emanate, etc. Its not "just" people, it's people doing things.
We're all offered choices, right?
 
@somerandomguy

No constructive ideas on this..more ambiguous and unclear. The moral concept of good-bad-evil is not always tangible to me. Yes, humans Do inconceivably horrible things because some might act according to their belief systems, so if these belief systems, be it religious or political ideologies are good, their action is legitimate in their eyes. And when this action is supported/approved from the mass it cannot be bad right? This is just one aspect from many..
 
Can only share my experience here on this one. I used to make myself even crazier by asking the deep philosophical questions. Because it had so many gray areas, and so much to ponder and find examples of, the good and the bad.

I have learned that, for me, it's very simple. I totally get it, that I am not the center of the universe. I found asking the deep questions, while in may ways broaden our understanding of life in general, was only a distraction. Remember, speaking only for myself here. These questions have been around since the beginning of time.. and I doubt I will be the one to find THE answer.

It's about being present for others. Getting out of our pain, just for awhile, and authentically being present for others. Not to fix them, or give them profound answers, but for them to feel heard. Just being heard is very transforming. Each of us have our own answers, and our own way to finding them.

I finally asked myself the question, 'if I do, by chance, find the answers to these questions, what would I do with that information?'

I am not minimizing your search. It's important. But we have all met 'evil' up close and personal, that's why we are here. I just know that doing , feeling, being the opposite of evil, is the only way I'm going to find peace and healing.

Truly hope your search leads you to some transforming peace and healing. Gentle hugs if you accept.
 
recently been able to tell myself that I am not a bad person

If you are able to tell yourself that you are not a bad person, than by your own reasoning (that you cannot have good without bad) this would make you a good person.
Simply put.

As for the actual good person, bad person debate - that's been going on for centuries. Starts with, are people born inherently good, bad or neutral? I personally believe it's neutral.

I think, if you can spread positive thoughts to others, lift people up instead of bringing them down, that this would make you a good person.
My kids have this book called "Have you filled a bucket today".
Seems simple but it actually centers around very amazing concepts.

If you fill other peoples buckets, yours will fill as well. If you empty other peoples buckets yours will empty as well. Essentially, if your bucket is full, you are a good person.
 
Well, this is a hard one to sort out for me too. And I don't have any great answers. And I mostly also don't believe there are bad people but then I think about Hitler and I get muddled. I think for me, I might redefine it a bit. Instead of good/bad, I might say good versus hateful; or good versus damaging. Basically, if I have to oppose good to something, thinking about those characteristics in humans that I really don't want to be a primary part of my existence. And of course, I have to recognize that all of us have our moments of being hateful, damaging, etc.
 
an easier line for me to draw is: Selfish/ Not.

i had a psych professor that said there was no true altruism, everything we did we did for our own interests.

The guy that covers the grenade to save the squad only does it because he has been taught a role to play and in that instant of decision to jump and cover the grenade, in his heart of hearts he is only doing it because he was afraid of the guy that told him he had to do it as part of his duty and that fear drove his own desire to survive out of his mind just long enough to make the move and save the squad. He did it for self serving reasons, no matter how incorrect the reasons were.

Bull shit. He did it because he had been taught that it was the thing to do if he wanted to save lives and he wanted to save lives.

I know that the way we behave to try to get along with people is at it's deepest roots to avoid getting our head bashed by a rival or in the interest of procreation or at least to satisfy sexual desires. We can't help being somewhat self centered and selfish, but that is low level reptile brain selfishness, we arent bashing rivals heads before they bash ours and we arent overtly trying to seduce or force our sexual interests on people. but we want to smell and look and act right, dont we? Why bother if you don't have a self serving interest in getting along in society?

So, if you accept that premise, that all actions are at their roots self serving, can you argue that some actions are purely for the benefit of others and devoid of self interest? Thats the rub for me, but I have spent more time thinking about it just now than I have in the last many months. It is an unsolveable.

But, some acts are purely selfish. Drunk driving with no concern for the safety of others- selfish. rape- selfish. theft-selfish. you get the picture.

And some acts do so much good that they cant be easily argued to be self serving, like throwing yourself on a grenade. Or letting someone with fewer groceries cut in line. or holding an elevator or letting someone into traffic. Or doing volunteer work for a church or fire department or school or neighborhood association or a library or just picking up the trash on the street when you take your garbage can to the curb.

Without arguing the extremes (no altruism, all acts serve self) it is easy for me to say I am a good person because I dont do high level selfish things and because I do the things I can do to help others along.

I think thats you, why put too fine a point on it? You can borrow my lawnmower any time you want.
 
It's all about our values, isn't it? "Good" is a cultural construct. We tend to categorize "Good" as that which is healthful, helpful, pleasing, congruent with our values, acceptable, pertaining to greater harmony and generative of "good" feelings.

That means different things to different people depending on what it is they value and yet within the Judeo-Christian and "Enlightened" secularized modern society we find ourselves emerging from, there are a set of values that "work" and have been working very successfully for survival
.
Now we have new values emerging, feminism, environmentalism, cultural sensitivity, veganism, "new" ideas about masculinity, trsnshumanism etc; all manner of ideologies are emerging that emphasize slightly different sets of values, based on preference.
I think, for myself, I go with ideas that are reoccurring and emerge from antiquity and adapted to our modern "problems" and concerns.

"Good" serves the highest aspirations of one's deepest truths and core being and incurs security, self regard, relative balance, and increasing levels of wellness; it knows caring for those in one's life, in the greater sense of "Self" which is entwined with everything, is caring for one's own life.

One could say it is Soul and heart driven as opposed to ego and "herd mentality"; using our innate reasoning skills and intuitive knowing and the checks and balances necessary to ensure and build authenticity and integrity.
 
I hold a different world view than you do. For myself, there are :

- Good people who do bad things.
- Bad people do good things.
- The more standard variations - good/good bad/bad untested/yet to be true/learning, various shades of grey.

Shrug.

None of which says jack shit about whether I like them, or not. Much less whether or not I love or respect them.

I’m also firmly with Shakespeare on this one
...since nothing is really good or bad in itself—it's all what a person thinks about it.
- Hamlet, Act II scene ii p11

My judgment of just, good&evil, etc.? Is going to be different from other people’s... because my way of thinking is going to be different.

So, for all of me, you can define good/bad as you please. Maybe there are good people in your world, but no bad people. My world view very firmly has both. But no one, as yet, has handed me the title of Queen of the World, where my way is the only way ;)
 
everything is poisonous and nothing is without harm, it is only the dose that matters- BS

Some things are bad from word one. No arguing that some things do no good.
Sure, murder victims decay and worms thrive. Okay, In the interPERSONal world, there are bad acts and bad actors. Shakespear was entertaining but wrong, sorry. Wrongful death is just that. Violations against a person are just that. You cant be a good person if you do some bad things.

In my book, selfish acts are bad. doing them makes you bad. You can become better , maybe good, but the act is and will always be a bad thing.
 
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