My traumas are CSA and sexual assault. It make me think "all men are the same. only wanting one thing" and then it also triggers "i am not as good as they [the women] in the tv show/movie are". I know the issue is probably an insecurity I have within myself but still it makes me think if he says he loves me and finds me sexually attractive why does he make the comments he does during a nude scene or a sex scene. It's not much that he says but it's enough to make me think all men are all the same, why am I opening up and trusting him? He has given me no reason to think he doesn't love me or find me attractive. But let's face it, I am obese, yet I know I am pretty, inside and out. Yet when he makes those comments it just irks me to not end.
Am I overreacting? I've asked him if he looks at other women and thinks they are pretty/sexy but he says no. I mean, what else can he answer? He knows as well as I do that it'll hurt me and bother me. Yet I have read numerous websites (both serious ones and not so serious ones) that all men look at women and think of sex. I know men and women are wired differently when it comes to sex, intimacy, and relationships. It does trigger me ... making me think he is no better than my father or my ex who raped me. Yet he is more tender and understanding than anyone I have ever met.
I feel horrible for feeling this way about the way he responds to nudity and sex scenes because I guess it is only natural. I don't know what to do about it so I can put it behind me. I am squashing my feelings down right now and not talking about it. It isn't worth the drama it could cause.
I could come up with maybe 200 reasons... half of which would probably offend you, and the other half torn between laughing, :bored:, and having me sectioned... and still have none of them be anywhere near the Black.
Flip it around, no matter how many sources, both serious and silly, say women want security... if he got jealous and angry every time you watched something with a nice salary/ big home/ expensive car... That would be a massive overreaction on his part, yes?
Even if you swore up and down that you don’t care what other men’s salaries are, or what their homes look like, or what kind of car they drive?
Maybe you are overreacting, but if your boyfriend is making crude comments, he’s an insensitive ass.
A REAL man will be sensitive around a woman and won’t get googly eyes and start drooling. There’s a difference between looking discretely and being a pig. He won’t make degrading comments about women.
If you write it all off as your overreacting, you may needlessly be putting up with bad male behavior.
Obviously it’s bothering you on some level. Just because you are overreacting doesn’t mean it’s all your problem and you just need to shut up and deal with it. That, my friend, would be black and white thinking, all or nothing. Life is shades of gray.