This. I can do a little meditation that helps me. Letting go of everything negative is such a hard concept because everythingNo idea. I don’t have one. Not something I’ve ever thought of, nor am I able to wrap my head around the concept. WTF DOES that mean???
this is a similer model of what we were talking about on the perpetrator trauma thread-and it's where i think this stuff needs to start going. and some thing my therepist has ran through with me just to show me what the modaleties of it are (because it's interesting and because a lot of my therapy is like "instead of having a f*cking nervous breakdown, i'll just be intellectually interested in therapy." )I think it was Maté’s saying "You can’t just scold yourself for the bad things you’ve done, or the parts that did awful things. Even these parts, they were trying to help and serve you. If you cannot look at these destructive parts with care and compassion and see what they did try to do for you, then you can’t make them change."
this one's so hard! for me this falls under bounderies and it's honestly the f*cking hardest part of it. what to share. what not to share. what to be like. what kinds of things are you allowed to say. what is appropriete or not appropriete.Learning to be open, the right kind of open, but not TOO open.
i really like this a lot because one thing that i have noteced especeally with people like us is that we are so good at being able to recognize in others what is logically happening (those double standards-it's okay for thee but not for me!) i find i will often reject logic entirely and just be like,A healthy relationship with yourself looks pretty much like a healthy relationship with an extremely close friend IMO.
can i ask if you could elaborate on this more? i am curious of your thoughts on this subject. i have a very rigid understanding of what healthy is that it is "good" to be healthy and "bad" to be unhealthy. but i can see how that language could potentially become overloaded of toxic positivity and whatnot as well.I don't believe in "healthy"