What's this about - being perfect?

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dshanks

Learning
:dontknow:I have been doing a new job at work for the last 2 weeks and all I do is worry about my performance. I cannot come across as being incompetent (the inner voice says)and I know that I have to give myself a chance, but it is as though I am being judged by an invisible person. I know that person is one of my past abusers but I should not let this person interfere with my learning. It caused me a great deal of anxiety during the last couple of weeks, but I can't seem to stop the inner dialogue. It feels as though I will be fired should I not get it right right away. Has anyone else had this experience? I believe it is known as paranoia!
 

Nam

MyPTSD Pro
Starting a new job is hard no matter what. It just seems like there is so much information to take in. I hated feeling like everyone else knew more than I did. Give yourself some time...it'll come. Two weeks into it is awfully early to start judging your performance. I don't know what you do for a job, but getting one is a milestone. Congrats!
 

Cecilia

Confident
That same damn invisible person lives at my house and points out every flaw and makes me feel guilty if my house is not perfect. I wish he would pack his bags and move on out! That invisible person is harder on me than any boss I ever had. That invisible person is created by me.

I have to self-talk and say ok, invisible person, I hear you, but you are wrong. You are caused by my own creative thinking and right now in this moment, I choose to be positive and do what I can do in this moment and then move to the next.
 

2quilt

MyPTSD Pro
I do self-talk too, telling myself that the perfectionist is dead, that I only have to do my best, and that's all I can do. My work pleases me, because I know that I did the best I could do. All I have to do is please 2quilt's standards because if I try to please everyone else, I would never be successful.
 

Grama-Herc

MyPTSD Pro
I've had to name my self talker. His name is Ralph and he is an idiot. He has no common sense and is extremely irritating. Because of that I get the yell and shout and scream at him. Just have to be careful to not do it in public, lest I end up in a soft and quiet room. Although some times that sounds like a nice place to relax!

Anyway, our self talk can be very destructive to us. I think we all do it and it is
something we all need to try and get a handle on before it does cause us trouble.
Listening to all the negative comments we make to ourselves is hard.
 
D

Deleted member 541

If I could only put a gag on mine, things would be so much better. I am depressed, but the MOUTH in my head is making things a whole lot worse.
 

Grama-Herc

MyPTSD Pro
Personally I think Ralph is a "troll" Ha ! ! I made a funny!

And I meant for that to be funny, no smart arse or anything. :rofl:
 

sisu

MyPTSD Pro
I've had to name my self talker. His name is Ralph and he is an idiot. He has no common sense and is extremely irritating. Because of that I get the yell and shout and scream at him. Just have to be careful to not do it in public, lest I end up in a soft and quiet room. Although some times that sounds like a nice place to relax!


You are so funny.....you make me laugh....:rofl:

Tell Ralph I said hello! Take care. Sisu
 

Cecilia

Confident
I named my guardian angel and I talk to it. My husband thinks I am crazy. Can you imagine if I start screaming at Ralph, too?

I'm so tired today a few days rest sounds very appealing!
 

Grama-Herc

MyPTSD Pro
Cecilia

Maybe you could introduce your guardian angel and Ralph to eachother-----let them fight it out while you take a nice vacation?
 
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