When do you know it’s time for a break from therapy?

Status
Not open for further replies.
I’ve been fed up of therapy for a while, I’ve lost drive and I’m apathetic towards it. My heart isn’t in it. I do the work and I engage however I’m fed up of the lack of results.

The frustration is evident in the therapy room, the past few sessions the therapist looks defeatist and I leave feeling hopeless. How am I going to get better if I’m doing the work in and out of therapy but I’m not hitting milestones. Therapy is stuck and I feel useless for not healing. Worst of all I feel condemned by the therapist for not getting better if an EMDR session doesn’t resolve a memory.

I don’t know whether I need a break so I can come back in a few months with a new sense of commitment/energy/drive. Or maybe I need to find a new therapist working with a different approach.

Question:

If/When you felt hopeless in therapy due to a lack of progress what did you do to recharge and regain drive?

When do you know it’s time for a partial break from long term therapy?

Thanks
 

Teamwork

MyPTSD Pro
It’s a working relationship. It sounds more here as if the relationship isn’t working. If the honesty you wrote here hasn’t landed in the therapy office with an open honest discussion with the t using the same words, I feel condemned and I feel useless then that is a good next session conversation, where you take the lead and express that. Sometimes, those two feelings are the root of being stuck and need some work so you can move forward. Most people get stuck, but they still like their t. You don’t express if you have the connection with t at all or anymore. so try looking at that. doesn’t mean anyone is at fault, just may mean going back to connection and trust would help. When you have a t, you are not alone, however with the way you write this you are alone and maybe the t needs to hear that and help you explore it. It’s still trauma work, but a bit back to a baseline. If those things dont alleviate the problem then perhaps t is not a good fit.
 

Rani G2

MyPTSD Pro
If/When you felt hopeless in therapy due to a lack of progress what did you do to recharge and regain drive?

@InsertCoinsHere been on T since 2009. Trauma T since 2015. Now I only go to therapy every 8 weeks. In a depressive phase, so I do feel that I am not making enough progress.
Recharge: I ( Not right now though to be honest) Do Body work, Yoga/ Sport and Meditation. Reading about different Therapy techniques..
 

Rumors

MyPTSD Pro
I’ve been fed up of therapy for a while, I’ve lost drive and I’m apathetic towards it. My heart isn’t in it. I do the work and I engage however I’m fed up of the lack of results.

The frustration is evident in the therapy room, the past few sessions the therapist looks defeatist and I leave feeling hopeless. How am I going to get better if I’m doing the work in and out of therapy but I’m not hitting milestones. Therapy is stuck and I feel useless for not healing. Worst of all I feel condemned by the therapist for not getting better if an EMDR session doesn’t resolve a memory.

I don’t know whether I need a break so I can come back in a few months with a new sense of commitment/energy/drive. Or maybe I need to find a new therapist working with a different approach.

Question:

If/When you felt hopeless in therapy due to a lack of progress what did you do to recharge and regain drive?

When do you know it’s time for a partial break from long term therapy?

Thanks
I don't know if my frustration is really with therapy or with my story. I question if you have explored what hopeless looks like and what it means. We go to therapy looking for the answers but have we put the real work in? For me, no I haven't. I have done a lot but not enough. Good luck and best wishes. I hope you can feel ok with wherever you end up!
 

Justmehere

Sponsor
Have you told your therpaist about your concerns?

Seems reasonable to explore other approaches and making changes if you seem stuck. New therpaist or therapy or taking a break may not be the only options. Your therapist might have feedback changes you could make between sessions to foster change. If not, then try a week or two off, and/or a consult with someone else, and see how it goes. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
 

NightSky

MyPTSD Pro
When I feel stuck (often) I let my t know. And she points out very specific areas I’ve grown in. I have this bad habit of keeping end goals in sight and they never look closer, so I don’t recognize that I’m doing better with eye contact or not dissociating every minute of every session, etc. things I wouldn’t call “progress” because they feel so insignificant. But as long as they’re steps in the right direction I keep going. My relationship with my T keeps me going. It doesn’t sound like you have that positive energy with your T. If my T looked defeated I would deflate for sure. Maybe you’re just interpreting that and need to have a conversation.
 
I honestly feel like my T doesn’t like me, there’s an undertone of contempt and negative judgement. I can accept a T not liking me but I can’t tolerate that slipping into professionalism, it’s expected to challenge a client but I don’t feel it’s acceptable to make a client feel rejected, notice their dejection and throw your hands up in the air as if to say ‘I don’t know what to do with you’. Lately the therapist’s own overt frustration at the therapy progress has been making me feel misunderstood and useless, it’s really not helping my past experiences of shame and rejection by authority figures. I’m not sure I even trust the T, there’s a weird vibe whereby she has to always be the dominant one, I don’t feel like equals or partly in control.

T is knowledgable with Trauma and I do believe T does want the best for the clients, however I do feel boundaries are sometimes crossed and it goes from being a therapist with a client to a personally aimed slight.

I think I’m answering my own question here, on one hand I’m apprehensive of jumping ship too early in case this is a process of my own therapy journey however on the other hand I don’t feel safe or comfortable with the T, I feel my self esteem reducing and my trust with T spotty at best.

I feel this weeks session will clarify a lot, as I will be honest about how I feel the therapy process is going and how I feel about feeling shamed. In the meantime I will seek to visit another therapist as I may feel a greater therapeutic connection that I do feel is vital for my recovery.

Thanks all.
 

grit

Not Active
I feel and I can be 100% off the mark (most likely) cause I do not know much about you but that you are onto something!
Maybe you are not recognizing your own progress especially that you are noticing the therapist as a person who has a job and whom is not a function for you anymore. You are exacerbated because you are not familiar in thinking this way. You finally see she is a human with frailty and own vices and you no longer see her as up there authoritative and helpful and carrying you on.

I feel also that you are angry at her (or maybe angry at someone from the past but tossing that onto her)...whichever way, stand up and express your anger and frustration and see what happens.

Passiveness is the bff of trauma! most of us get f...d up because we were children,passive, hopeless, helpless so now you are a woman/man paying for services and waking up. Stand up and tell the therapist you are annoyed and angry with the lack of movement or the perception of such and her/his attitude about it. Have concrete examples.

I feel this will wake both of you up to restart the engine and get to deal with anger, confrontation and assertiveness which trust me you do need in the real world. You will pass this and find out that you are strong, you are hopeful and you have a voice to say I am bored with you and find out a way out of it.

If you are like ooh no I cannot do that...that is your answer. You are still afraid the mighty god therapist has power over you!As long as we are afraid to speak our mind in therapy, we are still playing the child like issues that brought us into therapy.

good luck.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top