When does treatment end

KwanYingirl

MyPTSD Pro
I’ve been in trauma therapy every week for years. I’ve made a lot of progress and lately I get the feeling that my therapist is bored and sick of hearing my questions. We do Telehealth and it’s great for convenience. I just don’t feel a connection. When I talk to my friends about it-friends who are normal and don’t have ptsd-they say I am not rational and I better not quit. I’ve been sad for so long about my daughter and I finally decided that I want her to be happy. She’s not happy with me. The evidence is clear. Letting go of her and giving her the gift of not having to deal with me is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. My therapist said he doesn’t know how to help with that. I’ve been hoping I’d be able to stop caring.
 

Nevermore

MyPTSD Pro
Hi KwanYingirl,
I hvae to say this post kind of broke my heart. Firstly, how old is your daughter? If she is anywhere around 12, 13, 14, she's not happy with anyone, but she needs you more than you probably know. I don't think you need to let go of her, maybe just understand more what's going on.
I don't know how long you've been with your therapist, but they don't sound stellar. You shouldn't be feeling like the therapist is bored and sick of your questions, that sounds like a burned out therapist. Not very helpful.
Lastly, don't stop caring! I understand what you say because I think that was my own aim too for a long time, but I realise now that is just the ultimate annihilation of self and all of your feelings. It's more important to find a way to feel less helpless with the things you feel, with or without a therapist. Or maybe just with a better one!
I have frankly lost a lot of faith in the whole therapy world, but I'm sure there's good ones out there.
Don't give up on you or your daughter. The best thing anyone ever said to me is (not exact wording) - There are no obstacles on the path, the obstacles are the path.
 

Actualise

Learning
@KwanYingirl length of therapy - how long is a piece of string? Even the therapists can’t give you an answer if you ask them, it’s different to a definitive pure maths problem. If it’s CBT they might give you a number, you can judge if that’s helpful to you.

Re no connection to the therapist - try another one asap. Even if you think rationally and logically he stacks up, if emotionally at all it doesn’t jibe then it won’t work, dare I say it could be wasted time. I have several times tried therapy (at length at times) with a therapist that ticked all boxes but emotionally I was ambivalent (or worse) on and it never worked.

Hope things look up for you soon.
 

KwanYingirl

MyPTSD Pro
Yes my daughter has been more and more ignoring me and she can be downright cruel. She told me last autumn that she won’t be speaking to me. She doesn’t speak or text but 3 times she has sent a video of my 14 month old grandson. It’s heartbreaking that she tells me I can have no contact with him yet she can’t resist letting me know what I’m missing.

When I feel unable to love the daughter but hate her behavior, I cut. Just enough that I erase the gloom. It’s got to suck to have a mother who has CPTSD
 

Actualise

Learning
Get another therapist for yourself asap. The problems you face are solved by working on yourself not anyone else. I think it’s likely all schools of therapy agree with that.
Re cutting - I have little knowledge on dealing with this. Possibly look around for help on this specifically. You can call crisis/ help/ support lines that exist in many “developed Western” countries if you are in one. These people will be attentive to you and show you care. You can do this while you are sorting out/ waiting for appointment with a more suitable psychologist.
Hang in there, sending you all the best.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
The fact your daughter communicates with you shows you she wants a relationship with you. Maybe she could change some behaviours to make the relationship better. Maybe you could too.

Sounds like you feel pretty hopeless at the moment? What would make it better?

I agree maybe finding a T who you connect with. Or have you told your current T about this connection issue and explored it with them?
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
I guess treatment ends when your able to cope on your own. When you've learnt coping strategies for your thoughts and emotions and without the need for one on one professional guidance. Do you feel like you've got to that point?

If you feel that your T is tired of you then you should discuss that with them and see what their reaction is.

I hope that your relationship with your daughter improves, I'm sorry that must be really tough. Have you told her that you really need and want to have a better relationship with her?
 
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