Justmehere
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A jerk screwed me over about the selling of a car to me and then stalked me, even tried to use abuse religion to gain more access past well established boundaries... I've tried to talk about this to three therapists as something to work on in therapy. Not the car, but the emotion, the hurt, the boundaries. I'm angry at what he did and they always ask, "Are you mad at him or really yourself?" I am unsure why they think I'm projecting self hate on to him. I do hate myself. I'm not thinking of that when I think of this creeper. I don't even think of the car. What my mind jumps to is I said no and yet someone else in my life is trying to run it over... then my heart races, then the anger and fear hits.
I keep being asked if I am sure it's his actions I hate, or if it's just myself. Huh?
Has anyone thought about this? I can see how someone can be angry at another and really it be about themselves. I think of the anti-gay homophobe who is actually in the closest and hasn't figured out how to love themselves. I can also see the side to this that many faiths and worldviews tap into - the idea that one can't love others until you love yourself and/or have experienced love yourself. I also know that a lot a trauma survivors will reject kindness/react to kindness with self contempt as a way to control what happened, rather than face that they deserve kindness not the abuse they suffered. (I'm bad therefore bad things happen is a type of thinking to try to gain control over what happens in life.)
I'm not sure any of those situations apply or not... or if this is what anyone was getting at.
How does PTSD, trauma, and fight or flight fit into this? Anyone else grappled with this?
I keep being asked if I am sure it's his actions I hate, or if it's just myself. Huh?
Has anyone thought about this? I can see how someone can be angry at another and really it be about themselves. I think of the anti-gay homophobe who is actually in the closest and hasn't figured out how to love themselves. I can also see the side to this that many faiths and worldviews tap into - the idea that one can't love others until you love yourself and/or have experienced love yourself. I also know that a lot a trauma survivors will reject kindness/react to kindness with self contempt as a way to control what happened, rather than face that they deserve kindness not the abuse they suffered. (I'm bad therefore bad things happen is a type of thinking to try to gain control over what happens in life.)
I'm not sure any of those situations apply or not... or if this is what anyone was getting at.
How does PTSD, trauma, and fight or flight fit into this? Anyone else grappled with this?