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When to end therapy, when to talk?

LeiaFlower

Confident
I am currently seeing two separate therapists. It was something that I’ve done for a while with therapy and it has helped with stabilization and preventing burnout with a therapist. But I feel I’m at a stage where I no longer need two therapists. However, I feel more growth, rapport, and safe vulnerability with my new therapist than the one I’ve been seen for almost two years now.

When I’m with my long time therapist I only am able to talk about surface level conversations and there’s no challenge to talk about anything else. Since I don’t have rapport with her I don’t feel safe expressing the trauma that’s been currently resurfacing. It doesn’t help that the therapy is online and the main therapy model, IFS, is something I never connected with. I tried telling her a few times of being burn out with two therapists but I felt like she wasn’t hearing me.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings by leaving her for my new therapist, but I do not want to keep continuing sessions where I’m counting down the time. How do I know if it’s time to end therapy with her? Or if I should have a more assertive conversation about what I’m feeling?
 
I am currently seeing two separate therapists. It was something that I’ve done for a while with therapy and it has helped with stabilization and preventing burnout with a therapist. But I feel I’m at a stage where I no longer need two therapists. However, I feel more growth, rapport, and safe vulnerability with my new therapist than the one I’ve been seen for almost two years now.

When I’m with my long time therapist I only am able to talk about surface level conversations and there’s no challenge to talk about anything else. Since I don’t have rapport with her I don’t feel safe expressing the trauma that’s been currently resurfacing. It doesn’t help that the therapy is online and the main therapy model, IFS, is something I never connected with. I tried telling her a few times of being burn out with two therapists but I felt like she wasn’t hearing me.

I don’t want to hurt her feelings by leaving her for my new therapist, but I do not want to keep continuing sessions where I’m counting down the time. How do I know if it’s time to end therapy with her? Or if I should have a more assertive conversation about what I’m feeling?
It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into your therapeutic relationships and the way they impact your mental health. It's crucial to feel comfortable, heard, and safe in therapy to address the trauma resurfacing.

It's commendable that you recognize the growth and rapport you have with your new therapist and the limitation you're facing in your sessions with your long-time therapist. It can be challenging to navigate these feelings of wanting to transition to one therapist without hurting the other's feelings.

Have you considered articulating your feelings openly and assertively to your long-time therapist? Expressing your needs and concerns might lead to a more productive conversation about the direction of your therapy. This can also provide your therapist with feedback that could benefit both of you.

Reflecting on your goals for therapy and the progress you've made or hope to achieve might help determine if it's time to transition to one therapist or continue with a different approach. Have you thought about what specific changes you'd like to see in your therapy to address the trauma resurfacing and feel more supported?

Would you be comfortable exploring these thoughts and emotions with your long-time therapist to see if there's a way to adjust the therapy approach to better meet your current needs?
 
Have you considered articulating your feelings openly and assertively to your long-time therapist? Expressing your needs and concerns might lead to a more productive conversation about the direction of your therapy. This can also provide your therapist with feedback that could benefit both of you.
I tried expressing burnout but I felt I overemphasized the finical issue of having two therapists instead being direct about my feelings towards her. I tried to connect with her since we started together, but I feel like we’re simply not compatible. I only stayed for so long because of a fear of not wanting to hurt her feelings, she helped fill out my accommodation paperwork, and she wad available in between a time where I was searching for a new trauma therapist.
Reflecting on your goals for therapy and the progress you've made or hope to achieve might help determine if it's time to transition to one therapist or continue with a different approach. Have you thought about what specific changes you'd like to see in your therapy to address the trauma resurfacing and feel more supported?
It’s less about changes and more a difference in personality and approach. With my trauma therapist her personality and how she treats me with the respect of a peer while maintaining appropriate boundaries, is what draws me more towards her. My online therapist on the other hand I feel like I know nothing about her as human individual. It feels as though she talks but it’s about its relation to the interest of psychology. I feel like I’m put in a box with my longtime therapist, she assumes who I am but never actually took the time to build the rapport to genuinely know me.
Would you be comfortable exploring these thoughts and emotions with your long-time therapist to see if there's a way to adjust the therapy approach to better meet your current needs?
I am scared to tell all of this to her because I don’t want to hurt her feelings or for her to be upset that I waited this long to say something. I do understand it will be better to talk than to disappear, but I don’t want to be guilted in staying.
 
I tried expressing burnout but I felt I overemphasized the finical issue of having two therapists instead being direct about my feelings towards her. I tried to connect with her since we started together, but I feel like we’re simply not compatible. I only stayed for so long because of a fear of not wanting to hurt her feelings, she helped fill out my accommodation paperwork, and she wad available in between a time where I was searching for a new trauma therapist.
It's understandable that you may have felt conflicted about expressing your feelings directly to your long-time therapist, especially considering the support she has provided during a challenging time. It's clear that you value the support and assistance she has given you, which makes the decision even more complex.

Acknowledging the positive aspects of your long-time therapist's support, like filling out accommodation paperwork and being available during your search for a new trauma therapist, is important. However, therapy is a deeply personal journey, and it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and growth.

Reflecting on your needs and the therapeutic relationship dynamics, it seems like you've recognized a lack of compatibility with your long-time therapist, despite the positive experiences you've shared. This realization can be challenging but also marks an important step towards prioritizing your own emotional health and progress.

Considering your hesitancy to hurt her feelings and the support she has provided, have you thought about setting boundaries and having an open conversation about your feelings and the direction of therapy? This might create an opportunity for mutual understanding and potentially a more supportive therapeutic environment for you.

How do you think your long-time therapist might respond to a candid conversation about your feelings and the need for a change in your therapeutic approach?

It’s less about changes and more a difference in personality and approach. With my trauma therapist her personality and how she treats me with the respect of a peer while maintaining appropriate boundaries, is what draws me more towards her. My online therapist on the other hand I feel like I know nothing about her as human individual. It feels as though she talks but it’s about its relation to the interest of psychology. I feel like I’m put in a box with my longtime therapist, she assumes who I am but never actually took the time to build the rapport to genuinely know me.
It sounds like the interpersonal dynamics and connection play a significant role in how you perceive the therapeutic relationship and the effectiveness of the therapy. Feeling seen, understood, and respected as an individual can greatly impact the therapeutic process.

The personal connection and mutual respect you have with your trauma therapist are evidently crucial for you and contribute to a more comfortable and open therapeutic environment. On the other hand, feeling like your long-time therapist is keeping you in a box and not genuinely getting to know you can hinder the progress and depth of therapy.

Establishing a genuine human connection with your therapist can foster trust, vulnerability, and ultimately, more meaningful growth and healing. It seems like having a therapist who approaches you with respect and sees you as a person beyond your struggles is what resonates with you the most.

Have you considered sharing these thoughts and feelings about the importance of building a personal connection with your long-time therapist? Expressing the need for a more human-centered approach might provide valuable insights for both of you and potentially lead to a more fulfilling therapeutic relationship.

How do you think your long-time therapist might respond to discussions about building a more personal connection and fostering a deeper understanding of who you are beyond the therapeutic setting?

I am scared to tell all of this to her because I don’t want to hurt her feelings or for her to be upset that I waited this long to say something. I do understand it will be better to talk than to disappear, but I don’t want to be guilted in staying.
It's completely understandable to have concerns about hurting your therapist's feelings or facing potential guilt about expressing your needs and considering a transition in therapy. Your emotional well-being and progress in therapy are essential, and it's important to prioritize what is best for you.

Approaching this conversation with empathy and honesty can help navigate these complex emotions and concerns. Communicating your needs and feelings openly, while acknowledging the positive aspects of your therapeutic relationship, can lead to a better understanding for both of you.

Expressing your thoughts and reasons for considering a change in therapy can provide your long-time therapist with valuable feedback that may help her grow and adapt her approach. It's also an opportunity for you to advocate for your emotional well-being and the kind of support you need at this point in your healing journey.

Considering your hesitations, have you thought about writing down your thoughts and feelings beforehand to organize your thoughts and ensure clarity when having this conversation with your long-time therapist? This may help you express yourself effectively and alleviate some of the anxiety surrounding the discussion.

How do you imagine your therapist might respond if you shared your feelings honestly and respectfully, emphasizing that your decision comes from a place of prioritizing your own growth and well-being?
 
It's understandable that you may have felt conflicted about expressing your feelings directly to your long-time therapist, especially considering the support she has provided during a challenging time. It's clear that you value the support and assistance she has given you, which makes the decision even more complex.

Acknowledging the positive aspects of your long-time therapist's support, like filling out accommodation paperwork and being available during your search for a new trauma therapist, is important. However, therapy is a deeply personal journey, and it's crucial to prioritize your emotional well-being and growth.

Reflecting on your needs and the therapeutic relationship dynamics, it seems like you've recognized a lack of compatibility with your long-time therapist, despite the positive experiences you've shared. This realization can be challenging but also marks an important step towards prioritizing your own emotional health and progress.

Considering your hesitancy to hurt her feelings and the support she has provided, have you thought about setting boundaries and having an open conversation about your feelings and the direction of therapy? This might create an opportunity for mutual understanding and potentially a more supportive therapeutic environment for you.

How do you think your long-time therapist might respond to a candid conversation about your feelings and the need for a change in your therapeutic approach?


It sounds like the interpersonal dynamics and connection play a significant role in how you perceive the therapeutic relationship and the effectiveness of the therapy. Feeling seen, understood, and respected as an individual can greatly impact the therapeutic process.

The personal connection and mutual respect you have with your trauma therapist are evidently crucial for you and contribute to a more comfortable and open therapeutic environment. On the other hand, feeling like your long-time therapist is keeping you in a box and not genuinely getting to know you can hinder the progress and depth of therapy.

Establishing a genuine human connection with your therapist can foster trust, vulnerability, and ultimately, more meaningful growth and healing. It seems like having a therapist who approaches you with respect and sees you as a person beyond your struggles is what resonates with you the most.

Have you considered sharing these thoughts and feelings about the importance of building a personal connection with your long-time therapist? Expressing the need for a more human-centered approach might provide valuable insights for both of you and potentially lead to a more fulfilling therapeutic relationship.

How do you think your long-time therapist might respond to discussions about building a more personal connection and fostering a deeper understanding of who you are beyond the therapeutic setting?


It's completely understandable to have concerns about hurting your therapist's feelings or facing potential guilt about expressing your needs and considering a transition in therapy. Your emotional well-being and progress in therapy are essential, and it's important to prioritize what is best for you.

Approaching this conversation with empathy and honesty can help navigate these complex emotions and concerns. Communicating your needs and feelings openly, while acknowledging the positive aspects of your therapeutic relationship, can lead to a better understanding for both of you.

Expressing your thoughts and reasons for considering a change in therapy can provide your long-time therapist with valuable feedback that may help her grow and adapt her approach. It's also an opportunity for you to advocate for your emotional well-being and the kind of support you need at this point in your healing journey.

Considering your hesitations, have you thought about writing down your thoughts and feelings beforehand to organize your thoughts and ensure clarity when having this conversation with your long-time therapist? This may help you express yourself effectively and alleviate some of the anxiety surrounding the discussion.

How do you imagine your therapist might respond if you shared your feelings honestly and respectfully, emphasizing that your decision comes from a place of prioritizing your own growth and well-being?
I’ll try today to organize my thoughts and construct what I want to say. Should I say all my concerns in an email then talk about in person during a closure session? Or should I only be general in my email, expressing just a need to discuss concerns then later talk about things in session?
 
I’ll try today to organize my thoughts and construct what I want to say. Should I say all my concerns in an email then talk about in person during a closure session? Or should I only be general in my email, expressing just a need to discuss concerns then later talk about things in session?
It's great that you're taking steps to organize your thoughts and prepare for the conversation with your long-time therapist. Deciding how to approach expressing your concerns is a personal decision, and it's important to choose a method that feels most comfortable and effective for you.

Sending an email beforehand to outline your concerns and express your need to discuss them in more detail during a session can provide your therapist with the opportunity to process the information before your session. This can help create a more focused and productive conversation when you meet face-to-face.

On the other hand, if you feel more comfortable discussing your concerns in person, you might opt to mention in the email that you have some important topics to discuss during your session without providing specific details. This approach allows you to gauge your therapist's initial reaction and readiness to engage in the conversation during the session.

Considering your preference for communication style and the level of detail you wish to initially share, which option resonates with you the most in terms of expressing your concerns effectively and setting the stage for a constructive conversation during your session?
 
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