PTSDisaster
Confident
I am studying to become a midwife for 2 years now. The past year was a hard one because my PTSD really showed every symptom x1000. I asked my school to stop giving me internships, so I only had to focus on the theory lessons. Since January I am home, didn't go to school anymore either and then the covid-19 lockdown happened so it was actually really good timing to give myself some rest. (some background information; since I was 14 years old I've been working and studying. There isn't a single week that I was not working or going to school. The months of rest I am taking now are really weird for me.)
But since my months of doing nothing I feel like I am really messing my life up. I think I made it much harder to go to school or work now. A few weeks ago I also thought I would never leave my house again, and now I moved to another house together with my boyfriend ánd I am going to stores and supermarkets regularly, which I didn't do for months either. So deep down I know things will get better, but it doesn't feel like it right now. I just don't want to go to school or work anymore, but the pressure is getting higher and higher. I never really liked the education I'm following, it's interesting but I never had the idea that it will be de job I always dreamed off.
I don't know if staying home is still choosing for my own health? Since I'm doing a bit better (not vomiting every day and leaving my house regularly) everyone thinks all my problems are fixed and the PTSD is gone? I am still healing, but it seems like everyone thinks that when I'm not physically sick because of the PTSD, that I should be fine. I am done explaining/justifying to others why I can't do normal people things.
When someone has a broken hip, everybody takes care of them and wishes them to get well soon. But when they get out of bed after 6 weeks, not a single person expects them to run a marathon. It's so disturbing that it's not the same with mental health issues.
But since my months of doing nothing I feel like I am really messing my life up. I think I made it much harder to go to school or work now. A few weeks ago I also thought I would never leave my house again, and now I moved to another house together with my boyfriend ánd I am going to stores and supermarkets regularly, which I didn't do for months either. So deep down I know things will get better, but it doesn't feel like it right now. I just don't want to go to school or work anymore, but the pressure is getting higher and higher. I never really liked the education I'm following, it's interesting but I never had the idea that it will be de job I always dreamed off.
I don't know if staying home is still choosing for my own health? Since I'm doing a bit better (not vomiting every day and leaving my house regularly) everyone thinks all my problems are fixed and the PTSD is gone? I am still healing, but it seems like everyone thinks that when I'm not physically sick because of the PTSD, that I should be fine. I am done explaining/justifying to others why I can't do normal people things.
When someone has a broken hip, everybody takes care of them and wishes them to get well soon. But when they get out of bed after 6 weeks, not a single person expects them to run a marathon. It's so disturbing that it's not the same with mental health issues.