HaveWorthjustLiedTo
New Here
Yup.
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature currently requires accessing the site using the built-in Safari browser.
.....anyone can post anything on Instagram, no matter if it’s true/real or not.
Instamodels. I rest my case.
Yeah, I get it too. We live in a time period in which men are assumed to be predators just because they're men. Eventually the pendulum will swing back and people will be OK with men again. Until then, I'm a predator. That's the way it is.
Calling men a woman's natural enemy is not only over the top, it's also just mean-spirited. Certainly any woman that actually believes that, @HaveWorthjustLiedTo, should be able to go forth and live a life without men. Good luck - I'm rooting for you in your male-less life quest.
Not feeling real well right now, and maybe this is black and white thinking, but it seems to me that every woman has a choice to distrust men and assume they're predators just for being men, a la @HaveWorthjustLiedTo - which is where the cognitive distortion I mentioned comes in - or you can see men as people instead of predators.
Basically, I mean you can either see men as risks or as people. If you choose to see men as walking, talking risks (I.e. predators) ... maybe that means a life full of completely unnecessary fear.
Or maybe it really is a completely necessary constant fear to have - I guess, not being a woman, I wouldn't really know. But then why would anyone here want to talk to me at all, if I'm truly a potential predator?
Ok, I'm extra stressed today so I'm being unnecessarily uncharitable.
I went through a hellish few months where women triggered me. Usually multiple times a day. I got it under control fairly quickly, probably because I'm on the PTSD side of things, not C-PTSD.
So it must be truly hell for a woman who's triggered by men. Worse and worse if she's a CSA survivor, which can make victims feel powerless lifelong. Of course there are just more women abused by men than men abused by women (although the ratios are almost certainly much closer than people think). Men are bigger, stronger, louder, scarier, more violent.
So yeah, my message to "get over it" - unhelpful. What helps is remembering we're all people, and any of us can be victims. And people are usually scared of other people for real reasons, even if I wish it wasn't so. Apologies.
I wish more men, especially sexually inexperienced men, could read this, and your entire post.When this happened ALL participants were at fault.
I wish more men, especially sexually inexperienced men, could read this, and your entire post.
All people in any kind of a sexual encounter should receive and give consent. All people in any sexual encounter should also define their boundaries before the encounter begins.
Only consent is ever discussed, and apparently only men need to get it to proceed. That leaves men in charge of every sexual encounter. And if men are in charge of every sexual encounter, they will mess it up and leave women feeling unsafe ever after.
In 100% of my personal experience, I was seriously harmed roughly 5 times a week until able to escape home at 17. I smelled slightly fewer than 4,000 people barbequed like pigs or splattered like tomatoes on 9/11. The smell was the nastiest part.
No, parents don't like to know that whatever they do to keep their children safe, one day their big soft eyes will fall in and melt off the bone. 100% guaranteed. That we can't do anything about.
Me? i have been careful. It's not pretty, but I would most certainly have been harmed a bunch more times if I hadn't had an inkling of something wrong. Yeah. Once it was a bear in the woods, and once it was women's major natural predator, a guy. On a bicycle. On a bike path. in a nice wealthy suburb of LA. Who when I turned around on my bike because I didn't like something about the way he looked at me when he passed me on his bike, emerged from behind the bushes where he'd been waiting ahead and out of sigh, chased me down, grabbed my bike handles and wrested them away from me. I fell, of course. but I fell headed the right direction and well clear of those trees. So when I levitated to my feet and ran, I was running the right way (toward people) and he'd no element of surprise. Still he caught me once and bit me before i yanked free and levitated across a highway to a condo guard booth. That was the closest. But aside from family members, I've been followed on the street, changed sides, and been followed to the other side. I wait those rather frequent kinds of things out in 24/7 stores. After a while they move on and look for less alert prey. I am sorry it will be someone who doesn't know she can be harmed and the world is dangerous; she should never have listened to anyone trying to tell her differently, and that person is the more culpable. Good male friends, good fathers, good brothers tell their loved women to be careful out there. Because the truth is hard, but some deaths are much harder and come too late rather than too soon. I'm not saying you're going to harm me. i am going to say that to expect me to not do due diligence has no upside for me and the downside is me dying screaming a long time after i started begging. Sorry, but i'll pass on the generalization of your reality to mine.
Think these things don't happen? Maybe not to you. But that is not a privilege i will ever be granted in 100% of my only lifetimes.
Never again, if I can help it. If that sounds neurotic, what should I tell myself instead, pray?