Hi everyone, I've been dealing with the diagnosis and subsequent long, drawn out aggressive cancer treatment that my grandma has been going through. I used to call her every few weeks to a month before this, and now I'm talking to her every day or every other day because she calls me and wants to talk about my life and about how she's tired all the time, how she's scared, what side effects of chemo and cancer are bothering her, wants to know how I'm doing, etc. It's in her brain, lungs, bones, and back area. It was gone for a week with the last treatment but came back and the last treatment isn't working so they're trying a new one. She's been getting progressively worse. She'll call me and I'll call her back and apologize for missing her call and she won't remember. She forgets major things now, too, and panics about it. She called me the other day because she was devastated she forgot my birthday (my birthday is nowhere near recent). Lately, I've been crying every time I talk to her and I don't know why. I suspect I'm grieving, but, not to be too blunt, she isn't dead yet so how can that be? I'm having trouble working through my feelings on this since I have a lot of other stuff going on, so maybe that compounds it? Anyone have any advice? Or books?