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"why are memories of my past trauma coming back now" it makes sense.

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Roslie22

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Why Are Memories of My Past Trauma Coming Back Now?

Hi everyone, I wanted to share a "progress/success" of mine. I found the above article really relevant and helpful and im sure some of you might as well.

It is an article from good therapy called " why are memories of my past trauma coming back now"


I was going crazy the last 3-5 months. I mean it.
It should be the best time of my life, geographically far removed from where all the trauma occurred.

I was thinking, why now? Why have I fallen into a black hole when I should be feeling the opposite? I felt guilty for how I was feeling. I even questioned if I had another mental illness ontop of the PTSD, making myself feel even more scared/shaming myself.

Nightmares even crazier than before with deep meanings, depressive feelings the worst in a long time, suicidal thinking, appetite changes... the list goes on.

I was desperate and days away from trying an antidepressant (which for me personally I would only consider in dire circumstances), when I started feeling better...

I read the above link a few months before, but didn't take it seriously, but now I realise the article was right, after months of processing.

Im now somewhere where I feel safe, and where I have the space, literally and figuratively *without realising* to process more of the traumatic experiences.

Suddenly *but not too suddenly*...I feel more stable, the nightmares are beginning to drop off, I can set boundaries properly, choose my friends better, deal with unpleasant people better, less jumpy and at hostage to my triggers, more reflective, wiser. Less black and white and emotionally volatile.

but most of all, I can see my life now as a continuum, not as massive blank spaces/fragmentation. Thats the biggest thing for me.
I never realised what a huge coping mechanism that was, but how it also made my life more complicated. not interpreting time properly, forgetting important things.

Of course, there are a few things here and there i'm sure I don't realise that I should remember, but I can see a measurable improvement I couldn't imagine before.

I will never be perfect, but I am happy with the direction I am going...

These things I really didnt expect, just when you think there's no hope and you've taken a turn for the worse, it got better.
 
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