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BPD Why are people with borderline personality seen as bad people?

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Morphius

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A long time ago, I was diagnosed with Borderline PD (Personality Disorder) and I hadn't taken it well. I didn't fully understand what it was and why people developed it and quite frankly, I still don't really understand it. Looking it up, though, there were so many YouTube videos that were posted where the YouTuber said things along the lines of:

"People with Borderline Personality Disorder are disgusting, manipulative pigs/monsters and they should not be trusted." Other YouTubers said the same but in a more respectable way, saying "People with BPD are not trustworthy at all and are incapable of truly loving others. Do not befriend those with this disorder."

It's part of why I was so upset with the disorder because those videos as well as some articles made ME feel like a bad person for having BPD. I never told my therapist about it because I'm kind of scared that I won't be trusted.

If you have BPD or know someone who does, can you explain a little about it and your thoughts on it? What are some difficult things about BPD in therapy and in your personal life?
 
"People with Borderline Personality Disorder are disgusting, manipulative pigs/monsters and they should not be trusted." Other YouTubers said the same but in a more respectable way, saying "People with BPD are not trustworthy at all and are incapable of truly loving others. Do not befriend those with this disorder."

I have BPD. This is obviously wrong (and horrible miss information when so much correct info is available, on youtube) but its seen this way, I think, because its a disorder of emotional disregulation and distress intolerance. Emotional outbursts, freak outs, self injury, etc, can make us look like we are manipulating when we arent.

I was viewed as manipulating and gaslighting when all i was trying to do was protect myself against everyone, basically, as i was terrified all was out to hurt me. I learned better as did most others. I wouldnt know how to manipulate if i tried. But its seen that way from "outsiders". If only they knew what was going on inside us huh?

Im on Seriquel XR now which helps A TON with regulating emotions and DBT was made for BPD. It helps a ton too for emotional regualtion and distress tolerance. I bought this book my therapist has, its wonderful!

Dead Link Removed

Either way, dont listen to "nay sayers" and just concentrate on working on your symptoms. Do you have a therapist?
 
I have BPD. This is obviously wrong (and horrible miss information when so much correct info...

Thanks for the informative and in depth reply. It calmed me down a little to hear perspective from someone who has it. Yes, I have a therapist. But I haven't tell her and I don't know if I mean to tell her. I just don't want to be looked at, differently.
 
A therapist wont look at you differently. Thats what they do. When I said "others" I meant...

I know what you meant, I've just had bad experiences with certain therapists who did look at me differently and now that I have a good relationship with my T I don't wish that to come to an end. I guess it's habit to think I'll be judged. Always was. Still am.
 
I bet your therapist knows you have BPD. Its easliy identified if you know how to, which a therapist does.

Id start talking about emotions being intense and just some of the common BPD symptoms and see how your therapist reacts. Sort of like easing your way to telling them, gaining more and more trust and safer feeling as you go.

I was diagnosed super quick before i advised him why i was even there because it was oober obvious.
 
I don't have BPD, but interact with a number of people who do. In my experience, when the individual is motivated to work on it - do the DBT, practice regulation - then things can sometimes be bumpy, but that's the norm for any mental health diagnosis. When an individual is either in denial of their diagnosis, or lacks the motivation to work at managing it - then, they can be very hard to communicate with.

Being on the receiving end of a borderline person's rage/pushback is not easy.

I'm always incredibly inspired by Marsha Linehan. There was an excellent profile piece on her in the new york times in 2011. This link will give you a summary of that article, as well as link you through to the full one: Marsha Linehan Acknowledges Her Own Struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder | World of Psychology

She invented DBT literally because there was no treatment available for what she had - BPD. She was institutionalized through big chunks of her teenage years, and suffered a great deal. She lived it, and she brought herself through recovery. So, no, it's not a given that people with BPD are 'monsters'. They are capable of extreme behaviors that make communication nearly impossible. But they are also capable of recovery.
 
This youtube video really is the first one that really helped me understand BPD when I was first diagnosed. Marsha Linehan is one of the speakers in it. I found it years before I had heard about DBT. This was back in the stage you are in, trying to understand it.

Its about 48 mins long but good.

https://youtu.be/967Ckat7f98

ETA: I guess I should say this was years before I understood what DBT was, as this video talks about it but at the time I was thinking it was a group thing (and wrote it off cause I cant yet "do" group stuff, most especially back then) when it isnt.
 
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I don't have BPD myself. People who do, can certainly try ones patience. But monsters they are not.

As a person who doesn't have it, but has known people who do. Let me tell you.
If I had to choose between being locked in a room with 100 people with borderline. Or 1 narcissist.
I'll take the borderline crowd, any day of the week.
 
I think that I would tease out the difference between a BPD who is in recovery versus ones resistant or non compliant or never have been inclined to seek treatment of any sort.

I would be the opposite of Neverthesame, however being raised by parents with strong Narcissistic personalities it is what I am most familiar with. For whatever reason, me and BPD's have a very strong disconnect. It does not mean that they are anything different than anyone else with a mental injury or disorder but rather a personal assessment for my own well being. That being said, it would also be true for those who have unmanaged depressive aspects now. Just can't do it.

There are some here with BPD that I can have some interaction with and its fine, however those folks are not part of my own peer support system. Early on here I had some direct personal experience with that and it is more a preference for my own stability and well being than a character assessment about them.

To me however the difference in all mental illness groups including PTSD's is whether or not they are working their treatment/recovery/management. If they aren't... I prefer no contact straight up.
 
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