why do i feel like ending a perfectly healthy loving relationship?

Thanks @Freddyt , I think I meant the same, but you said it better.

And I like how you validated how hard you are working too, as you said, for her and both of you, and her appreciation of it, and the reciprocity you share. Sounds like you are a sweet match. 💞
 

Widow_of_one

MyPTSD Pro
I'm finally in a healthy, "normal " relationship that's loving and supportive, we never argue. And that's because we want the same things and if not we compromise. Anyway, I keep having urges to be mean to him for no reason and he hasn't done anything wrong. Sometimes I feel like breaking up with him, but I really don't want to because I love who he is and we get along so well... everything is just there that's good. I get frustrated. I am not sure if this is self-sabotage or intrusive thoughts/feelings... ??? II have no idea. Please help.
Because YOU don’t want to Remeber your last! Love ignites the bad from your past. Love heals all
 

lostforgottensoul

MyPTSD Pro
Love heals all
Ummm, no it doesn't!
I'm finally in a healthy, "normal " relationship that's loving and supportive, we never argue. And that's because we want the same things and if not we compromise. Anyway, I keep having urges to be mean to him for no reason and he hasn't done anything wrong. Sometimes I feel like breaking up with him, but I really don't want to because I love who he is and we get along so well... everything is just there that's good. I get frustrated. I
I do this all...the...time! What we figured out in therapy is because I'm not used to good relationships. I'm not used to be treated good. I'm not used to being loved. I'm not used to any of that without a catch. A bad catch. Torture, used for sex, and punishment. And because I feel like I don't deserve to be treated well and deserve all the bad.

Half the battle is seeing it. You see it. That's awesome. Now place why those feelings are there. Where does it stem from you past. Then, counter it. You deserved to be treated well because you are a good loving person. You deserve love because XYZ. You deserve respect because XYZ. You don't deserve to be abused because XYZ. You don't deserve disrespect because XYZ. It's easier said then done and I struggle with this all the time so I have to break it into much smaller pieces. Specific examples of both the good and the bad. Like, I deserve my new car because I worked hard for it for many years, saved up for it, and am good at my job. And you may even need to go smaller then that.

It takes practice and it takes a lot of time to believe it. I still don't believe half of it. But, just keep practicing it.

Maybe, if you haven't already, share your struggle with your partner. Maybe he can help with some of this. And maybe sharing your struggle can help him too. But maybe just him giving you some examples about why he loves you can help. Good things he sees in you. Etc. Positive affirmations can do a lot. Not saying they work for everyone though. Everyone is different. Just what has worked for me!
 
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