I am struggling with a family member that was part of the reason I was abused. Now they have a condition and they are dying. Everyone is really sad and I am angry and I can't find any sadness for them. Ok so all of the negative things they did that involved me happened over 20 years ago. Does time passing really matter. Is the idea that they haven't done any "bad" things in over 20 years really make a difference? The thing is I haven't told my family my story. But, I am sure others were involved and maybe no one knows the specifics but its is obvious that things were not ok. Why is it that people can act terrible in their younger years, abuse others and then as they age and maybe mature, change their ways and all is to be forgiven? If not forgiven then forgotten? Yes I made mistake as a young adult. I have done things I am not proud of. Things that bring me shame. BUT, i NEVER abused children. There is a difference. people at any age who can abuse children are in a different category. And of course there is always the, well alcohol and drugs were involved. And I will say I have abused my fair share of alcohol in the past and again will say I NEVER abused children. But, why do I feel like a bad person for having no sad emotions about someone dying ? She is still alive but I am trying to decide that when she dies if I will go to the funeral. If not for her and the other abusers but for the people I do care about.