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Why veterans miss war

Discussion in 'Military & Emergency Services' started by Deadman, Jun 29, 2017.

  1. Deadman

    Deadman Well-Known Member

    I came across this today. Not sure why. Maybe just introspection.

    Why veterans miss war .

    Its true. I miss it. I miss my brothers and sisters. I miss being with people I knew I could trust. I miss being needed. I miss the responsibility.

    I felt like a lone wolf who had found his pack. I never felt so alive.
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  3. Sighs

    Sighs Not a Fairytale Moderator Donated

    My vet says his problem is not that he deployed too often - its that he had to come home.

    littleoc, Congruency, dulcia and 6 others like this.
  4. Deadman

    Deadman Well-Known Member

    Yeah, there are days I think the same.
    littleoc and ladee like this.
  5. LuckiLee

    LuckiLee I'm a VIP


    Yep, my guy misses it too. Alot! And for all of those same reasons. He was closer to his team than he ever was to his own family. J was special ops and in charge of a 9 man team. They spent years together. (Nine women would have killed each other) :)

    @Deadman, now that you're "home" do you talk to or see the people you served with? For the life of me I can't figure out why J doesn't keep in contact with any of them. (I'm guessing because it's too painful, not everyone came home with him. Oooh the guilt!!) :(

    We need to find you guys a new "pack". The VFW was there for J when he first came home. He even became State Commander where he lived. He had his family back. Now his anxiety is so bad it's hard for him to make acquaintances let alone friends.

    Good luck Deadman. Sorry you're missing your family. I bet they miss you too. Call them!
    Incongruous, dulcia, ladee and 2 others like this.
  6. Yamamoto

    Yamamoto Let it hurt. Let it bleed. Let it heal. Let it go. Banned Premium Member Donated

    Very enlightening - and disheartening - video, Deadman. Thank you for sharing that. It led me on a journey I'd never thought to take.
    leehalf and ladee like this.
  7. Sighs

    Sighs Not a Fairytale Moderator Donated

    @leehalf - socialising with the guys still serving after you've been medically discharged is really hard - on both sides.

    For those still in - looking at someone who has been damaged (physically or mentally) to the point where they can no longer serve is very bad for morale. Soldiers need to feel ten foot tall and bullet proof.

    For those left out of battle - looking at blokes still serving just reminds you of all you're missing out on.

    Its very hard to find a new pack. My vet has tried with sporting clubs, car clubs etc. Unsurprisingly, nothing quite measures up to the bonds forged in combat.

    @Deadman - :hug:
    SaharaSon, Louski, dulcia and 4 others like this.
  8. Mach123

    Mach123 I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    Thank all of you for serving and supporting one of my sons is at AIT Fort Huachuca.
    Incongruous, dulcia, leehalf and 2 others like this.
  9. ShikibuZ

    ShikibuZ Policy Enforcement Banned

    I had written a response days ago, and then deleted it out of cowardice. I both hope you did and did not see it. Either way, thank you for *your* courage. In all of its manifestations.
    Incongruous, leehalf and Mal Content like this.
  10. SaharaSon

    SaharaSon Well-Known Member

    Sighs, I think a big part of being in a combat zone, or a war torn environment is that it puts you on an edge and you don't take life for granted. You do see, and touch, good and evil real close. You know how real it really is. I'm sort of a lone wolf type in that I can get easily get lost in, and identify with an oppressed people with a radically different culture from mine. If I went in, I may never return. I'm married now, but if that ever changed I probably would join the Peace Corps or some NGO in some hell hole where the people are in a bad way and try to help them. It can get plenty dangerous because you are on your own, no Marines are going to come and help you when the sh*t hits the fan. Life is too easy here in the States, we are a little too far removed from the real world. I could easily jump, I think about it alot. :D
    leehalf and Freida like this.
  11. Sea_lady

    Sea_lady Active Member

    @Deadman Have you ever watched the film 'The Hurt Locker'?... The story relates to some issues you raise.

    It is very difficult to go back to the civvy life... There is no 'Esprit de Corps', too many people lack of any sense of loyalty, courage, discipline and brotherhood. It is normal to feel lonely even if surrounded by a crowd when one doesn't feel understood, doesn't think, vibe and function like most of those around. Some experiences are so intense that only those who have lived them can *understand* - that goes beyond words, beyond any forms of expression... It is like there is a wall of glass that separates a person who has seen the Worse of humanity and those who have only known peace. Humans being social by nature, we all need to feel that we *belong* to a group. Trauma isolates from those who have never been there, but it also bring closer those who suffer from its burden so they share it together, help one another, support and care for those with similar pain.

    Death brings people together or split them apart; in the Army, fighters and their families stick together and that is a way of life because deep down, they all viscerally know that their own survival depends on their peers. Alone, nobody survives war unless they benefit from an extraordinary luck, but the latter never lasts. Teamwork is essential to succeed and survive.
    Iceman and SaharaSon like this.
  12. CyclePath

    CyclePath Well-Known Member

    You know, I've been thinking about this post for a while now; since it was posted. Still not too sure how I feel about missing war. I think I see two or three sides to it. When I look at it from the perspective of the me when I was junior and stupid, I think I miss it. On the other hand, when I look at it from the senior me leading men in war (the E-7 to CWO4 me), I don't miss it at all. Once I started leading men in war, instead of simply fighting in it, I realized that no matter how long you train, or how much experience you have, or how hard you try, you just can't stop the people you love from being hurt and killed.
    I definetely miss the crap deployments to third countries where things were hard. There's no way the people I served with will ever be replaced by any relationship I ever have again. I think we really miss the brotherhood and social aspects of the military that were a result of war and hardship. However, when it boils down to it, there is nothing I miss about war itself.
    We were lucky that we got to fly in to the war for our deployments and then return to our comfy homes/wives/girlfrieds/beer/whiskey/etc...after our tours. Imagine if what you experienced there was happening here, to your families and your neighborhoods and cities. I think our perspectives might change then. There is nothing to romanticized of it. The shitiest things I've ever seen or done were in war. If I never have to put another friends broken body onto a MEDEVAC, or pieces of anothers body into a body bag, or tend to one's crushed family ever again in my life I will be perfectly effing happy with that. It is an absolute nightmare and we would be wise to remember that.
    Sea_lady, SaharaSon and Friday like this.
  13. Raven

    Raven Well-Known Member


    I'm a phoenix. I spectacularly self-destruct and then I dust the ashes off, carry on, and find a way to become stable and successful for a while until I get bored again. Then the cycle repeats ad nauseum. I am doing better than ever these days, which is why I haven't been around this corner of the web in many moons.

    Still, I'm itching to go supernova again. Why? Why? Why?
    littleoc likes this.
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