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Will Every Job Just End Up Badly?

Discussion in 'General' started by beenthere, Aug 14, 2007.

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  1. beenthere

    beenthere New Member

    Though I'm fairly functional now relative to where I was a year ago, I feel like I keep repeating the same work pattern again and again, no matter how hard I try to prevent it.
    I changed careers this year, realizing that my past career was just too stressful and demanding for me these days. 5 months ago, I took a new job (not well-paid) at a non-profit (known for its laid-back mission and casual workplace) specifically to put myself in an environment which likely wouldn't trigger anxiety and stress. Although I haven't told anyone about my PTSD, I was very clear in my interview that I was looking for something less stressful, which required less travel, and wouldn't consume me.
    It's been a total nightmare - my boss doesn't sleep and is a type-A workaholic. She keeps throwing more work at me, doesn't give me the time to complete or focus on anything, and expects me to live and breath for work. I feel like I was lied to in my interview, and worse, that I've been set up to fail. I finally went on Xanax just to deal with my boss (my first time on Meds), they help, but I feel like I'll never be happy working under my boss.
    I know I need to leave - I've talked to upper management about the problem, and my boss's leadership skills (or lack thereof) ar well-known in the office (everyone who has worked under her ended up leaving because of her), and nothing changes. So, I know I need to find another job. But I worry that I'm just plain unemployable. That my emotional state eventually catches up with me no matter where I work...that I'm just too sensitve to deal with the world anymore. I've always been a super-achiever, but now I just want a job where I can do a good job and thrive and get my life back in order. Will it be the same everywhere I go? How can I ever get better if I can't pay my rent - much less ever think of owning a home, or finding a relationship? If I can't get this employment piece in order, it just feels like everything else is doomed.
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  3. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    Hi, welcome to the forum. A lot of people bounce from job to job, without PTSD. Think about it that way, and your doing just fine in essence. People bounce jobs looking for what they feel is ideal. Some get stuck in a rut job, they stay because their in debt or have a family, some bounce until they find the perfect job for them, then establish those aspects in their lives. Your doing OK IMO. Keep looking for the perfect job for you, and you will find it, boss included.
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