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Wish I could stay busy


New Here
My PTSD revolves around my older sister and sibling abuse/ rivalry. Right now, at least for the next couple days until she leaves town for two weeks. I feel like I have to wait for her phone call/ text to bug me to come over to her place for ongoing clean up following a plumbing accident last Wednesday. I hate going over there because I just don't know what to expect, whether she will be angry, be pushy, or be kind. At it's worst, a drama queen, manic personality I can not stand. It's a disturbing feeling to deal with. Unfortunately feel stuck. I have to go there because my mom lives in same house, upstairs and run errands for her. There are many days I would rather shovel manure for 10 hours a day at a job than deal with being with my sister for a half hour - even if that is all I do for the day.
As I rationalize things further, I remember how in the past, there was nothing like a long 8-10 hour workday, plus commute time to excuse myself from people and unpleasant situations and how I really crave for that right now. I was thinking about that while I was clearing out a storage unit for 6 hours today and couldn't come to my sister's aid - I felt peace during that time knowing I couldn't leave the work I was doing. I so wish I had a job, even hard core volunteer work. I realize a big part of my issues with disturbed emotions comes from being totally incapacitated much of the time and can't really excuse myself from being in an unsafe environment. Like I said, having a real job, gives me freedom and a safe place to be. My sister would still bug me for something but eventually give up, seeing I wasn't convenient to her anymore. I get to be with my wife, who is down in Oklahoma, for close to a month around the Holidays and that will make me safe but still have now until then. I would look for a job but to be going away in a month puts me in a quandry.