Hi,
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now. Throughout our relationship, she has always been on anti-depressants, and managed her depression rather well. We had a great 2.5 yrs together and then in June 2019 we moved in together for the first time as she was started a new job, and we also got a puppy at the same time.
In July, her dad suddenly died from a heart attack. As it happened abroad, her mum had to deal with the police and I ended up telling my partner the news. In the coming months we were all devastated, especially my partner, as her dad had been her rock throughout her whole life, helping her through some really tough times. However, we coped, and she went work as normal and got involved in sport in the new area that we lived in. Our relationship was fine, albeit with less intimacy, which I understood to be from the emotional toll of the bereavement. In October, a colleague of hers committed suicide (after an incident with a customer, that she was the only witness too), and she still feels responsible for what happened.
A couple of weeks after the suicide (in November), she broke down at work, and then asked me to give her some space as she was overwhelmed by everything, and didn't feel like she could handle other peoples emotions on top of her own. To give her some space, she asked me to move out temporarily. That was 3 months ago and I'm still out of the house.
We are in contact a little everyday, and I'm doing my best to leave her to it as best as I can, but the communication and affection in the relationship is barely there (from her side). She is avoiding anyone she knew before we moved place, as they remind her of her dad. She has also said that she replays the phone call we had when I broke the news to her about her dad, so I would guess that I'm a trigger to her.
She is hopefully starting some therapy soon, and we've both stated that we love each other and don't want to break before therapy sessions begin for her. But she has also said that she is scared because she might not be able to manage seeing me in the future, without being taken back to her dad's death...
Guess the questions I have are:
*is therapy likely to help her, regarding me being a trigger?
*is being out of the house for this long, and having minimal contact from the sufferer common?
*should I be worried that she withholds information from myself, her mum/sister and friends she had prior to her dads death?
Thoughts appreciated
Cheers
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years now. Throughout our relationship, she has always been on anti-depressants, and managed her depression rather well. We had a great 2.5 yrs together and then in June 2019 we moved in together for the first time as she was started a new job, and we also got a puppy at the same time.
In July, her dad suddenly died from a heart attack. As it happened abroad, her mum had to deal with the police and I ended up telling my partner the news. In the coming months we were all devastated, especially my partner, as her dad had been her rock throughout her whole life, helping her through some really tough times. However, we coped, and she went work as normal and got involved in sport in the new area that we lived in. Our relationship was fine, albeit with less intimacy, which I understood to be from the emotional toll of the bereavement. In October, a colleague of hers committed suicide (after an incident with a customer, that she was the only witness too), and she still feels responsible for what happened.
A couple of weeks after the suicide (in November), she broke down at work, and then asked me to give her some space as she was overwhelmed by everything, and didn't feel like she could handle other peoples emotions on top of her own. To give her some space, she asked me to move out temporarily. That was 3 months ago and I'm still out of the house.
We are in contact a little everyday, and I'm doing my best to leave her to it as best as I can, but the communication and affection in the relationship is barely there (from her side). She is avoiding anyone she knew before we moved place, as they remind her of her dad. She has also said that she replays the phone call we had when I broke the news to her about her dad, so I would guess that I'm a trigger to her.
She is hopefully starting some therapy soon, and we've both stated that we love each other and don't want to break before therapy sessions begin for her. But she has also said that she is scared because she might not be able to manage seeing me in the future, without being taken back to her dad's death...
Guess the questions I have are:
*is therapy likely to help her, regarding me being a trigger?
*is being out of the house for this long, and having minimal contact from the sufferer common?
*should I be worried that she withholds information from myself, her mum/sister and friends she had prior to her dads death?
Thoughts appreciated
Cheers