Hi all, my name is Lisa and i'm a 21 year old Australian. I have ridden horses for all of my life and currently ride Dressage. Two years ago, my PTSD hell started. One of my best friends was killed riding at our Barn while she was schooling (Training) her horse. Her horse lost his footing and fell on her, completely crushing her. I was there, and witnessed the whole event. Without going too much into detail, I was the last person she ever spoke to. This haunts me. I took a break from riding after this tragedy and cut horses out completely for the first year of University. However I couldn't bare time away from my sport, and I have recently started competing this year, again. I have been loving it, however whenever I compete at a competition, or ride whatsoever, I can't stop picturing her lifeless corpse and me screaming at her to wake up. I remember what she was wearing: Riding helmet, polo, and tan breeches. I can't get the blood, the smells (She had lost control of her bodily functions) , the immense fear i felt out of my body. I just want to stop remembering. Can anyone assist with how to move on?