General Wondering if any one has had to do this? Joining partner's therapy.

BrotherNerd

New Here
Hi this is my 2nd time on here.

My lady and I have been together for 15 years. She has been in therapy for 10 sessions now for her PTSD. They have been going good, she even said it helps.
But yesterday out of the blue her therapist says he wants a 1on 1 session with me and maybe a few of them. Also a few sessions with both of us.
I'm all about supporting her any way I can, but just don't know why they want to see me, or even both of us?
I'm not sure why her therapist wants 1 on 1 sessions with me? I'm not sure what to expect? Has anyone had to do this? If so what should I expect?
Thank you in advance for any help you can give me.
 

Wendell_R

MyPTSD Pro
My wife has asked to see my therapist in the past, and it has been helpful for her, and for me, by calming her worries and giving her a better sense of what's going on with me.

On the other hand, long ago with my first wife the couples therapist we were seeing wanted to see both of us individually. I now understand that was highly unethical. I think a few sessions together can help with your lady's therapy by helping the therapist see patterns between the two of you and by giving you an understanding of what's happening. But I don't think it's appropriate for couples therapy, for example.

If it were me, I would want to know beforehand what is the goal or purpose for you to come in, in a general sense.
 

BrotherNerd

New Here
I wish I knew, it would give me a better understanding of what to expect. I was pulled in out of the waiting area (I like to go with her to her therapist, just for support and that way she can tell me what she wants, and does not have to focus on driving home just on her session). And was told "I would like to see you 1 on 1 a few times and then the both of you together a few times, I think it will help". So I said yes.
I'm just kinda nervous cause I dont know what's coming.

I’ve never had that experience with my partner’s therapist, but that actually seems like it would be very helpful. Most of the time it seems like we’re flying a bit blind.
Most of the time she and I talk, but only what she wants to tell me. I don't force it out of her. She has been really open with me about what is going on. For that I'm so thankful.
 

Wendell_R

MyPTSD Pro
She has been really open with me about what is going on. For that I'm so thankful.
That's a great sign for you both!

I'm just kinda nervous cause I dont know what's coming.
That's a good thing for you to say the first time you see the therapist. Or, you can tell your lady this beforehand and see how it goes. You're not forcing anything--you're sharing how you feel.
 

Freida

Sponsor
Call her and ask before you go in .
Yep - that's an option you are allowed :)

It could be anything from your gal wanting her t to prepare you for what happens next in ptsd therapy and give you ideas as a couple, or maybe to talk about how you communicate with her when shes in a bad place, or ideas for the t on what you have seen work/not work for her in the past, blah blah blah

I've done 1 on 1 sessions with my brothers ts over the years (hes schizophrenic) and usually they just want to ask about how he acts in the home environment to see if my view of his behavior matches his. They are ALWAYS done with his permission and he knows ahead of time what we are going to be talking about. It's really a non event. And if they ask something I don't want to talk about? They just skip it.

So ya, it's perfectly acceptable to ask the T to call you because you aren't sure about what she is asking for. It won't surprise her that the request has made you nervous.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
My partner asked to join my therapy. Mainly because I said I couldn't cope with couple's therapy and my therapy at the same time.
My T said absolutely not! She said my sessions are for me and time for me, so partner can't attend.
I was happy with that! I don't think I could have coped with sharing my T with my partner. It would change the dynamics for me.

But every therapist is different and every person is different.
 

BrotherNerd

New Here
My partner asked to join my therapy. Mainly because I said I couldn't cope with couple's therapy and my therapy at the same time.
My T said absolutely not! She said my sessions are for me and time for me, so partner can't attend.
I was happy with that! I don't think I could have coped with sharing my T with my partner. It would change the dynamics for me.

But every therapist is different and every person is different.
I agree with you, I want to give her, her space. Witch is why as far as I go is taking her there, mainly so she can focus and get in the head space she needs to be in on the way there, and not have to focus on driving or anything like that. Then on the way home she can reflect and not have to focus on driving.
Believe me I'm trying to be the most supportive and thoughtfulness I can be.
I was surprised she said it might help me to talk to her t.
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
I had that with my mum. They brought me in, and I could understand certain things better. A very emotional moment. And now it's happening with her, my pdoc would like to have her just for half an hour to have an idea of how the relationship is. It's more a question of landscaping I think than bringing someone else into someone's therapy, even if it can be done also. For some folks it works. As long as everyone agrees with the terms in which it's done, I think it's quite a good thing to do!
 

BrotherNerd

New Here
This helps some. I'm a over thinker, and for me it's like if I sit a certain way is the t going to think I'm hiding something or being closed off, if I answered questions in certain way and smile or something like that is the t going to pick up on issue I have (I know I have my own issues I have to work threw, and will see a t one day. But right now it's about my lady and focus on helping her get the tools she needs). Or think I'm hiding something.
 

LuckiLee

MyPTSD Pro
I have joined J in a few appointments by his request. Not his T's. Usually when he is really struggling or when SI is at play. He just wants a hand to hold.

We discuss symptoms, meds and goals. Never therapy or trauma.

I wouldn't feel comfortable talking about him with his T without J's presence. I doubt J would be comfortable with it either.

If T wants to talk about Me? I would just play it by ear.

I'm curious what your T has in mind.
 
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