JEKBreatheandBelieve
MyPTSD Pro
From the onset of fall weather and appearances, I start anniversary time. It's not just about a car accident. I was a wife and a mother of 2 young children and within a year I would find out I had dissociative identity disorder so throw that anniversary into the mix. This time of year is always hard for me. This was the 4th anniversary. The actual date has passed and I did better, but not great with the specific day.
Since then I have been falling apart. Last Friday I ended up in the ER. The discharged me but they really shouldn't have because they didn't update my medication list and so thought I just made a mistake. Nope, not a mistake. I explained this before they let me discharge. I told them that a part is has thoughts to hurt the body and that their medication list is incorrect leaving their theory not valid, but they let me go. For the most part I didn't mind because I don't like having to stay in the hospital just to act fine so I can leave because they're not trained to helped people with DID.
Anyway, I can't trust myself. I am dealing with additional external things while trying just to hide away and not notice the time of year it is. I am worried about my niece, appealing disability denial, my 4.5 year old who won't potty train, my own physical issues, the state of the world, the election, the shame I have of not being able to work and help my family, the fear that my not working combined with my medical bills is going to cause us financial problems but we won't qualify for help until it's too late, and I am not eating much, and I could keep going, but that's quite enough for now.
I need some support. I need some encouraging quotes. Anything you think will help me make it through, please share. The only thing I ask is that you don't tell me to "fake it until you make it" because that doesn't work for me. I don't want to pretend to be fine when it is not. I am falling apart and I want support for that. Please anyone that reads this, write something. I need connection to help me through.
Since then I have been falling apart. Last Friday I ended up in the ER. The discharged me but they really shouldn't have because they didn't update my medication list and so thought I just made a mistake. Nope, not a mistake. I explained this before they let me discharge. I told them that a part is has thoughts to hurt the body and that their medication list is incorrect leaving their theory not valid, but they let me go. For the most part I didn't mind because I don't like having to stay in the hospital just to act fine so I can leave because they're not trained to helped people with DID.
Anyway, I can't trust myself. I am dealing with additional external things while trying just to hide away and not notice the time of year it is. I am worried about my niece, appealing disability denial, my 4.5 year old who won't potty train, my own physical issues, the state of the world, the election, the shame I have of not being able to work and help my family, the fear that my not working combined with my medical bills is going to cause us financial problems but we won't qualify for help until it's too late, and I am not eating much, and I could keep going, but that's quite enough for now.
I need some support. I need some encouraging quotes. Anything you think will help me make it through, please share. The only thing I ask is that you don't tell me to "fake it until you make it" because that doesn't work for me. I don't want to pretend to be fine when it is not. I am falling apart and I want support for that. Please anyone that reads this, write something. I need connection to help me through.