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Work is so hard

Discussion in 'Employment, Education & Disability' started by whiteraven, Jun 28, 2018.

  1. whiteraven

    whiteraven Well-Known Member

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    I'm really struggling at work. I've been struggling for a very long time - this job, the last, the ones before that. But I'm trying to focus on my issues now. Hard, that.

    I'm in lower management, which is pretty much like being nothing where I work. I have a manager who hates conflict, so never deals with anything that requires a confrontation. Yeah, she mostly stays in her office.

    She's on vacation. I end up watching everything and taking care of everything she would normally do when she's gone. Because she hates that so much, she always checks in and gives direction on everything, but she has no idea what she's doing or what our policies are (I wrote those).

    I asked someone to do something today and she flat-out refused. Besides the obvious, it really put all of us behind. But what was the worst for me - what is always the worst for me - is that her refusal felt like a personal affront. And in my head I tell myself that my life is sh*t because everyone is always dismissive of me.

    There's also knowing that nothing will be done about this. I took it to my manager's manager and I sent an email to both asking them to address. But I *know* nothing will be done. She "has a lot going on," everybody is under a lot of stress, etc.... Happens over and over again.

    I don't know how to deal with all of that better.
     
    420kitty, somerandomguy and Mach123 like this.
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  3. FauxLiz

    FauxLiz Well-Known Member Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    @whiteraven I wish I had words of wisdom to give you other than saying I understand your pain and frustration. I have been off work since the beginning of the year doing the hard work because I couldn't work and do that work as well. But I am going back to work in two weeks at a new job in a new organization having moved 200 miles to a new community and I am terrified.

    I will tell you that what has helped me in the past in situations like you describe from today is asking myself if I did the best I could, did I do what I was supposed to do, if I can answer both those questions with a yes then it makes it a little easier to accept that I can't change the situation but I did the best I could.
     
    Sietz and whiteraven like this.
  4. whiteraven

    whiteraven Well-Known Member

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    thank you, @FauxLiz. It's really brave of you to make all of those changes.

    Part of the problem I have is that even when I am able to answer yes to those questions - even when I *know* I did everything right - I don't believe it. I have to go back over it, time and time again, and I never feel confident that I *really* handled it well.
     
  5. FauxLiz

    FauxLiz Well-Known Member Premium Member Sponsor $100+

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    I totally understand and I am just know after three hospitalizations since Dec twice at major trauma programs am I learning not to continue to rehash the situation it’s not easy and I slide back frequently but you need to give yourself permission to do what you can and then let go. We all have too much going on in our lives even those without a trauma background to waste our precious energy on woulda, coulda, shoulda scenarios.
     
  6. Sweet_E

    Sweet_E Active Member Donated

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    I hate that! I hate that feeling of working so hard and yet not having it being appreciated! I'm sorry you felt like you were treating dismissively.
     
  7. whiteraven

    whiteraven Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, way easier said than done, though.
     
  8. whiteraven

    whiteraven Well-Known Member

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    I need a new job. I realized today that a lot of my being stuck in therapy has to do with the times I was in therapy and on medical leave from awful jobs. It's all tied up in how I was treated and how much I hated the job I knew I had to go back to (although ironically, I was terminated from both).

    I canNOT work at a similar office job, though. First of all, I am way overqualified for the ones I've seen and second of all, I just can't handle another office full of people who don't really care about their work.

    Not sure I can handle any 40hr/wk job that means I have to be around people the whole time. Not sure I want to.

    My forte is in proofreading and editing. My Master's is in writing. Ideally I could work freelance, but that's way too iffy. I have a couple of workshops that are ready to give and if I could do that on a semi-regular basis, I maybe could cut back some hours at this job, but I'm so depressed right now and have 0 motivation that I don't think I can even get that going.
     
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