KidFriday (now an adult, f*ck me I’m old!) is out playing poker with the boys. He doesn’t have a car, so isn’t concerned about staying sober, which means he’s unlikely -or at least less likely- to be concerned about anyone else’s sobriety. And is catching a ride home. >.<
My T says he's retiring. This time (because he's said this before, usually either when he has to renew his license or the lease on his office) he says his family did an intervention and he realizes they're right, so it's more or less for real. He's got some health issues. Since I actually like the guy, I'm worried about HIM. But I'm also a little worried about "now what?" It's occurred to me that, for the most part, he's the only person I ever talk to about what's going on with ME. Otherwise, talking to people is about problem solving for them. I think I'm going to miss having someone who takes an interest in my life. (Even if he's getting paid.)
Besides that.... turns out this house has a huge "water in the basement" problem. The dirt is disappearing from around the culvert in the driveway, for reasons that are so far a mystery. I've got some building projects I really need to get done this year and I'm worried about finding someone trustworthy to hire to do it. Put gas in the car the other day and realized I probably really DO have to work till I die, at least if I intend to eat etc.
I hope the kid took an Uber! (It's hard to believe he's an adult. I've never met him, yet it feels like I kind of know him and he should still be a little kid!)
start of summer is here. my kinder and third grade foster kids are anxious over the differences between a global shutdown and summer vacay. we have a road trip planned in hopes of **showing** them the diffs. prayers in progress that we aren't lying to them that ^it^ is over.
I'm worried about my kids and how awful the world will be for them as adults. I'm a lot more worried for my son than for my daughter, but that's probably just due to my own personal experiences and not anything real.
More selfishly, I'm worried that the tiny kid will get sick yet again, and so yet again our upcoming road trip will be cancelled.
I am feeling like shit today, because I am worried I have done kiddo a huge disservice by becoming his caretaker. I am better than who he was with before, but not near good enough. I am legitimately worried I haven't given him what he needs to thrive. He is self sustaining but I don't think he has had a single healthy relationship in his life.
I'm worried that I had a terrible fever last night. Thought I had a chest infection coming on or the flu. It was pretty bad but miraculously the fever has gone. Started taking paracetamol this morning.
Also a bit concerned about just how f*cking intolerable and insufferable I was when I was really unwell and a practicing alcoholic. f*ck me, that was shit. I'm not the same person anymore thank god.
I need to practice my sax before Wednesday for my lesson. I always worry that I'm not practicing enough but I'm really doing well.