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Yes military, no combat ptsd

Discussion in 'Military & Emergency Services' started by S t e v e n, Apr 26, 2018.

  1. S t e v e n

    S t e v e n Guest

    Well here goes, I am very hesitant to admit this openly for fear of being looked down on due to the fact it was caused in boot camp. I have dealt with PTSD for approx 12 years now, but suffered the previous x amount before seeking help. I know it's not called post traumatic combat stress. But still feel guilty about how mine became. I know many have seen the movie "Full Metal Jacket", and the boot camp scene's IMHO are nothing compared what I went through in boot camp. We had 2 but 1 specific drill instructor who unbeknownst to me at the time crossed the line in major ways. Some of the things I Seen or went through were 1 recruit was dragged around the the squad bay to mop the floor and was slammed into the bunk legs continually and had 2-4 ribs broken. (Just because the DI didn't like him) Another was taken into the whiskey locker and physically assaulted (aka beaten) myself I was hit in the head with a metal object so hard it left a goose egg lump. Another & I were also ordered to be beaten and myself I just remember 20 guys coming at me punching and ultimately being kicked until I literally shit my pants as I lay on the ground while trying to protect myself. Then not allowed to clean up and go out and finish the day to include eat chow & drill with shit still in my pants. The last thing I'll mention is the whole platoon was ordered to wash each other's balls. At which time another drill instructor showed up and put a stop to it. I heard 2 years later the main DI who did this was court martialed and dishonorably discharged. This is just a fraction of what went on. It's been so bad I've ruined my relationship with my parents, wife kids and friends. I am currently trying to mend these relationships but after years of taking my abuse now my family has their own issues and it makes it real difficult on everyone. I do feel I have come always from where I have been but now I have a whole different set of challenges to deal with. Some days I win, some days I lose, but everyday I fight. Or at least try. I've had a rough few days and found this sight and had to share it helps me knowing I'm not alone... Steven
    Mach123 and Freida like this.
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  3. Sweetleaf

    Sweetleaf Well-Known Member

    Good, god damn.
    I have never had anything to do with the military ever, but I'm gonna say this - anyone who looks down on you for having PTSD from those horrible things, instead of other horrible things - is a f*cking asshole. :)

    You're definitely not alone in feeling like your trauma is trauma that will get you looked down upon, or that your trauma is nothing compared to the trauma of others, or that it's not "serious" trauma. People with PTSD seem to do a lot of minimization about their own traumas, but I'll say this to you: I believe you, I think what happened to you was very wrong, and you are having a perfectly normal reaction to having horrible things done to you. It's nothing to be ashamed of, it's nothing that people should be looking down on you for. Nobody would want to go through that shit.

    Do you have a therapist/counselor or anything like that?
    Rugby02, Freida and EveHarrington like this.
  4. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    Change of perspective?

    “I have PTSD due to being beaten/physically assaulted”

    instead of

    “I have military PTSD but it’s not from combat”

    Both statements are accurate but the first is validating while the second is minimizing.
  5. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

    I'm a vet with non combat ptsd too - so I get your concern about being one of "those". And yep, there are some low lifes out there who go for a ptsd diagnosis because they broke a nail or got a paper cut -- but you are not one of them. There is some horrible shit that happens in boot and many people who are afraid to report it because they feel like they will be shamed.

    So let's get this out of the way now....
    You have nothing to be ashamed of.
    You deserve to be heard and helped
    What happened to you was horrible and you did not deserve it
    You are not the only person this kind of stuff has happened to. Abuse in boot camp is yet another one of the military's dirty little secrets. So you are not alone

    @EveHarrington is exactly right when she says
    Are you working with a therapist?
    And I'm glad you found us.
    EveHarrington likes this.
  6. Mach123

    Mach123 I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    This is terrible because I have a son serving, my PTSD, and veterans with PTSD. (my daughter is married to one.) Talk about conflicted.
    Freida likes this.
  7. S t e v e n

    S t e v e n Guest

    Yes I've been going to therapist for 12 years. I started with Kaiser when I was at my worst (my first therapist was amazing) then she transferred. It wasn't the same with my next one. I ended up going t a private therapist and pay out of pocket but he's a god send to me and my family. He really goes out of his way for me. I can text him if I'm having an episode and he will text or call me back and help me through and at Kaiser I couldn't get appts but a month out. Sam will get me in that week if need be. I've gotten in hours after having a crisis. I tried the VA but had a real bad experience with the lady I initially got and blew all my trust there. So I still see Sam about every 2 weeks more or less if needed he's real flexible and the best guy I could ever possibly have. That plus I've been on Prozac for 12 years and I feel I have improved considerably but still have rough times.
    Freida and Rugby02 like this.
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