You Know You Have PTSD When...

[StillPen]

The hardest thing you do is putting on your socks.

Because if you put the socks on you go out.....

The hardest thing you do is put on your socks and it so mentally exhausting you have to go back to bed and take a nap!

 

[Friday]

When you have to be “drunk enough” to listen to your last month’s worth of voicemails.

>.<

Or to even open the app. To just see who has left messages. Not even to listen/read them.

So listening to them? Is progress.

Hell. Opening the app is progress. Listening, much less actioning? Seeeerious progress.

LeSigh.

Pain in the f*cking arse, this finite capacity for stress.

 

[Freddyt]

The iced tea mix is in the fridge and the iced tea is in the pantry.......

 

[Friday]

…when something beautiful happens… and I’m suddenly convinced down to my marrow, that someone I love has just died. Or been hurt. And I wasn’t there to save them, or wasn’t good enough to stop it happening.

 

[Friday]

When hedonism is both an act of rebellion AGAINST ^^^that^^^ …in addition to seizing every last possibility of feeling/being/connecting/being real.

But? ^^^that^^^ (unexpected joy/beauty/rightness) is irrevocable coupled with pain/grief/loss/death.

f*ck my head.

 

[Friday]

When it FEELS like 4pm or Midnight. But it’s actually? 9am, or noon. OMFG. Hullo time dilation.

Also the inverse, but for me, right now? How the hell is it ONLY noon?!?

I need to go to bed. Now. Soon. Something. Because today has already been 3 days in 1, and it should be full dark and end of. >.<

 

[turrican]

Okay, I'll try a list without thinking too much...

• Your favourite film is The Punisher (2004)
• Interacting with other humans often feels like playing 3-D chess against Gary Kasparov
• You don't worry about the future much because it's mostly a foreign concept
• When you're about to speak you're often not sure what your voice (or accent) will sound like
• The idea of being the only person on the planet is strangely comforting
• After a bad episode you're grateful that at least you didn't break or lose anything too valuable

 

[enough]

when questioning the validity of your own emotions becomes a part of your own emotions, to the point that you wonder if everything you feel is muted/magnified by the disorder pretty much as you are feeling it, or, really, analyzing it instead of feeling it.

 

[Sideways]

When your dog gets anxious about the wind...and that seems perfectly reasonable.

 

[Freddyt]

When it FEELS like 4pm or Midnight. But it’s actually? 9am, or noon. OMFG. Hullo time dilation.

...made even worse in my northern climes by the short days in winter - Sunrise was 8:45 AM today and sunset 4:15 PM.......

 

[Freddyt]

You think "Wow I'm doing pretty good this morning" as you pour OJ in your coffee....

 

[Friday]

When the best you can hope for is someone holding your hand as you bleed out.