You Know You Have PTSD When...


When you have to be “drunk enough” to listen to your last month’s worth of voicemails.


Or to even open the app. To just see who has left messages. Not even to listen/read them.

So listening to them? Is progress.

Hell. Opening the app is progress. Listening, much less actioning? Seeeerious progress.


Pain in the f*cking arse, this finite capacity for stress.


When hedonism is both an act of rebellion AGAINST ^^^that^^^ …in addition to seizing every last possibility of feeling/being/connecting/being real.

But? ^^^that^^^ (unexpected joy/beauty/rightness) is irrevocable coupled with pain/grief/loss/death.

f*ck my head.


New Here
Okay, I'll try a list without thinking too much...

  • Your favourite film is The Punisher (2004)
  • Interacting with other humans often feels like playing 3-D chess against Gary Kasparov
  • You don't worry about the future much because it's mostly a foreign concept
  • When you're about to speak you're often not sure what your voice (or accent) will sound like
  • The idea of being the only person on the planet is strangely comforting
  • After a bad episode you're grateful that at least you didn't break or lose anything too valuable


when questioning the validity of your own emotions becomes a part of your own emotions, to the point that you wonder if everything you feel is muted/magnified by the disorder pretty much as you are feeling it, or, really, analyzing it instead of feeling it.