allisonp

I went through significant trauma six years ago, but I'm just now realizing how deeply it effected me and how it is effecting me still. I was 20 at the time. My mother was dying of cancer, and I was raped by a relative of a friend. I lost interest in school, but told myself if was because I had a change in priorities - what mattered to me were the relationships in my life. That was partly true, but I believe I was also struggling with depression and PTSD. After graduation, I took two years off and worked abroad - which was an amazing experience, but it also allowed me to hide from my hurt and pain. I wasn't confronted with it until I returned and started graduate school. After starting school again, I was diagnosed with severe ADD. I had a hard time concentrating/focusing, and that along with the stress of medical school sent me into a deep depression with many scary physical symptoms. I took a year off, and am starting back again, but I am just now realizing that I need to address my past trauma and more than likely, that the much suppressed emotions and experiences surrounding my trauma are at the heart of the added stress sending me into a downward spiral and possibly are related to my attention/focus problems as well. I am very grateful that I found this site and pray that it will be a helpful step toward freedom from these demons.