AngelPaws14

I was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor May 2013 and was informed, once I met the brain surgeon, that it was massive and would need to have brain surgery to remove it. The location of the tumor was my lower left brain with a part of the tumor connected to the 8th cranial nerve (hearing). By July we had finally gotten a date arranged (August 21st, 2013) to have surgery with my neurosurgeon and hearing specialist, since the location of the tumor was connected to that nerve the chance of losing my hearing in my left ear were very high risk. Well knowing my past surgical history with chances of trouble or bad news I kinda assumed I would lose at least some, but really hoped for the best! Well after 14.5 hours of surgery and a few tests down the road I learned I had completely lost my hearing in my left ear. Not only was that crappy but after almost 2 years I still have white noise (that annoying loud fuzzy sound you got when you turned your TV to a channel you didn't have) and now I have to meet with the hearing specialist to talk that one through. My recovery has been hell! I lost a boyfriend who chose drugs and alcohol over supporting me (we were even talking marriage before surgery), had to relearn to walk/balance, had trouble with concentration and talking even, felt alone, damaged, unwanted, continue to deal with fear and failure, face so many medical issues since my surgery, dealt with the death of my therapy cat then a year later my grandma passed fighting dementia, couldn't go to Europe for my sisters wedding, lost who I thought was a true friend and support (she and I had been best friends for 12 years) and so much more. Life is very hard and I just wish i could breath and have have it be filled with stress and anxiety, I need true fresh air in my lungs that are not filled with this tonix PTSD!