Recent content by anonymousperson

What happened to you was clearly worse. Don't worry, I have fully recovered from, well, whatever. There is nothing troubling me.

Thanks for your kind words, but I will always think I was weak (past tense) for letting, people, make me, unhappy. Anyway, but I got over it (or I think I do)! There is just one thing I'm afraid of, I wonder if ghosts of buried feelings of the past might haunt me in the future. I heard once you...

Oh I'm sorry. After reading many stories on this forum and other places on the internet, I think I was being dramatic and selfish. For example, I don't love my mother, but she loves me and she is a nice person most of the time, but some people have managed to forgive their parents after they...

I thought this thread was dead and gone, but I just saw those new messages. These are my main (emotional) issues: My sexuality: You already know I'm bi (though very afraid to come out for the time being), but I'm arguably a masochist as well. Let's say just I might, enjoy emotional pain...

I'll just keep my month shut then, I don't want to hurt them. It'd just escalate the problem. Besides, I can't really complain. I have food, water, internet and a hoof under my head. I just need to wait a couple years.

They never taught me anything (good), but you know what I am doing? I am teaching and educating myself. I've come to realize that I don't need their love. Nor do I want it. Even if this does scar me emotionally, I will remain strong, I always have. I've survived on my own. They've been telling...

I've got other weird sexual feelings. Sometimes I have rape fantasies, where I am the victim. Sometimes I think I'd like someone to do that. When I read some disgusting stories about rape, I get turned on. Writing this is a shame to me.

I was scared and uncomfortable and didn't know how to react to someone rubbing my vulnerable butt. I did not know what sexual assault was, I didn't know what he was doing. I'm talking about the time in which I was indeed molested. The boy rubbed his pelvis against my butt, he did that only for...

I think it was both, I'm a little disgusted by remembering this, he did know what he was doing, a 12 year old doing something that resembled anal sex, but my underwear says otherwise, it is wet. Writing this makes me feel bad and confused. But how can something that lasted seconds have such...

Can that event be molestation? It lasted few seconds.

She did take me to a shrink once, but I didn't tell her anything. I'll eventually take myself to a psychologist to see if there's anything too bad..

You're right, one day I will seek, but not now. Too afraid to tell my mother to take me to a shrink.

Actually, there was a fifth time, I thought it wasn't worth sharing but I will share it now. I was 11, and it was just like those 2 times with peers. But worse. I was at someone's house for a school project. There were about 5 boys in the bedroom. I bent over to pick up something on the floor...

Then physical assault 2 times with sexual connotation and 2 without is the best description. It might be messing with my mind, but I tell you, it will never take control of me! Absolutely no!

I'll stop trying to label the unwanted touches as 'X' or 'Y'. I may never understand why a few seconds of that has had considerable power on me. But Suzetig's last post does make sense. All abuses have led me to question the meaning of the word 'love' and my sexuality years after they happened...