Recent content by BanjoraLost

Hi, It's been a while since I have provided an update. My husband and I are still married, and all our legal proceedings are at a standstill, though we never filed anything to begin with. (I only filled out the papers and saw the courthouse facilitator.) We were basically back together in...

So I don’t know the full story yet, but the reason my husband was so stressed and couldn’t sleep is because he was trying to figure out what to do about Guy #2. It sounds like Guy #2 misrepresented his current alcohol usage—he made it seem like he quit and/or was on the path to sobriety. My...

I think my husband is stressed or something. On Monday, he had the actual heat on at his house (wasn't using the fireplace) and it looks like he's been sleeping on the couch for the last couple of days. He mentioned forgetting to eat, and said he's been really tired. I was at his house last...

I'm sure he's being genuine with his concerns. My husband isn't the sort to be manipulative or gaslight, but I think he can be bad at understanding his feelings. He previously said he felt numb didn't believe his feelings were real, and I think this is why his words and actions aren't really...

I think there might be a bit of a push/pull dynamic developing?? (Or maybe we're in one--this isn't our first breakup, but it's been almost a decade since the last one.) My husband originally wanted to get divorced as soon as possible. I never wanted that, but after making my feelings known...

Guy #2 is on 100% disability for PTSD. From what I know about him, I suspect the reason he doesn't have visitation with his kids is because he ghosted on his family. He normally lives in an off-grid cabin in a very remote area, but the cabin has no physical address. I guess this has made it...

I do have my own place—I bought a house. We haven’t filed anything as far as our marriage goes, but we’ve been to the court mandated parenting classes, have a parenting plan, and I am the custodial parent on that. It was his parenting time on the day in question, but we were going to trade a...

Now my husband wants to move a second guy in into the garage. Guy #2 is a combat vet (he was in the army but did not serve with my husband) who gets 100% disability from the VA for PTSD. We own property out in a remote area, and Guy #2 was our sort-of neighbor out there. He has a bad reputation...

He called me after work to tell me not to come over to see the kids today. I guess he called the VA earlier, because he hadn’t heard anything about his referral. He ended up getting so frustrated with them that he asked for a different provider, and they told him he would need to start the whole...

If I thought he was making a habit of cheating, or was trying to leave me for someone else, I would feel differently. It occurred to me that there could be other women, but he really has no reason to lie to me at this point. I'm not sure about his therapy. He said used the word "psychotherapy"...

My husband called a veteran’s crisis hotline the week after I moved out. Six weeks later, he finally got a therapy appointment through the VA. He was really out of it after the appointment, and I missed two days of work to watch the kids. He tried to schedule a follow-up therapy session, and the...

Well, I'm not sure what he wants anymore. The day after he told me he didn't love me (again) we were having a conversation about why our marriage could survive the cheating and other issues, and he suddenly mumbled that he was considering not getting divorced. He said he was thinking we should...

I just found out he did cheat. Right after our youngest was born (three years ago) my husband’s old NCO came to visit and told him a lot of dark stuff about Iraq. This was a major turning point in our relationship—my husband was not the same after the guy visited. At some point, either during or...

I guess whoever he saw at the VA got back to him and told him his case was too complicated for their level of expertise. Now they referred him to a specialist. I’m not sure how he’s feeling about this news, but I suppose it’s a good sign that he’s talking to me about it at all. I’m doing my best...

My husband had his first treatment yesterday...it was rough. I took the kids before he left and kept them until bedtime, but he wasn’t at the house when I got there. I sent him a text, but I wasn’t sure he’d get it since his phone only works on WiFi. We waited in the driveway for 30 minutes...