Recent content by betterthanyesterday

Right now i am going through the same exact thing...i reach out and get attacked becausd he feels like its a personal attack on him. Itjust makes me worse abd want to disappear even more...what are we doing?

YES! We are very much a like in those aspects. It's so so hard to place myself in someone elses hands and be vulnerable when, it's my absolute biggest fear. I am just as independent as you are haha. I do not ever ask for help and regardless, I will always make life ten times harder on myself...

I knew there were online support sites but I think I was being too stubborn. I've always been one of those people who thinks I can handle it.....yea this is really handling it. Since my kids are gone for the weekend I may have my husband sit down and talk a little bit about it with him, but I...

Not anymore. I was a few years ago, but to be honest it made me worse. It made me feel more out of control and feel more to blame than anything. I should probably include a few other tidbits....because of my past, upbringing and my current job (corrections) I tend to wear that very hard face...

I do but at the same time he always wants to know every detail of absolutely everything. And if I'm being honest....he knows of one rape and when he's mad at me he always brings it up and almost talks to me like I'm a liar because to him he doesnt understand how it could happen and me literally...

It might sound crazy, but today is the first day I've truly been ALONE in over three years (besides being at work which I'm never alone there). I thought I was doing so well and getting to a better place with everything, but nope there it is again. I am a vet, twice deployed and a two time rape...

Am I the only one who manages to keep everything under control until you're alone and then suddenly you're freaking out inside and cant help but have a mind full of nothing but the past??