Recent content by Bowierocks

I am on a decent dose of 100 twice daily. No real side effects but everyone is different. The deadly ‘ rash ‘ or toxic epidermal necrolysis is often talked about but not really seen all that often. Flu symptoms seem a little unusual but again everyone is different. I think a wise choice is to...

I hate that those that witness my anger are those that are close to me . I say to myself everyday - no more ,but it comes back .

Yes that is exactly how I feel,like I made it up or it couldn't be me . I don't fit the profile of the 'abused' but in reality there is none . .in a way it's like dissociation or a movie .

Ah today is going okay . .to be honest ,the anger is getting less md less everyday . It's too exhausting and it's not me at all . . I told my brother ,who is afraid of me despite being bigger ,that violence is his way and I give him back the shame . . The shrinks ,well they are just inept and...

It's ironic but just thinking about this today . I suffered daily violence at the hands of a much older brother and ultimately sexual abuse / rape . . I was seen recently by this so called famous shrink ( narcissistic, effete , add your own pejorative ) at the Gabbard Center . After three days...

I am a survivor of CSA and violence and really the trauma just 'hit ' a year ago . I am 48 and it happened from 2-13 . . Being triggered to me is like being in an altered demension or to someone who does have ptsd like a bad drug trip . That seems to convey the level of fear that wells up inside...

I am new here and wanted to say as a survivor of CSA , I didn't say no during my rape( older brother ) . I wanted to but found it got stuck in my throats and I dissociated . That's not uncommon as the brain almost shuts down when faced with someone who is bigger and stronger or a 'no win'...

I am a doctor but not a gynecologist although as a medical student trained there . Sorry this happened with no warning . I had a rectal exam by a endocrinologist and thought it uneccesary. I totally dissociated and panicked even though it was a woman ( my perpetrator was a male ) so I know how...