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carharjo
I am a survivor of a school shooting.
(Ouf! That was hard to say...)
I was 17 when it happened. Now I am 24 and have finally graduated from university. It was hell having to go into the same environment as my trauma every day for the last 7 years. I have done many years of therapy and I am on Effexor XR - and not a light dose either. I have struggled with accepting my new life. I have struggled with every change in the road. I burned out 3/4 of the way through a degree in Conflict Studies and Human Rights. I really wanted to change the world so that no one had to go through the pain that I have. But talking about genocide every day and being told there is no solution, trying to live on my own and away from my support network in a different city, I was headed for disaster. Add to it a therapist who abandoned me in the middle of treatment without providing me with a replacement, and a mother going into surgery; my life, and my mental health, was falling apart.
It has been four years since I had to drop out of that program and move home to start again. I eased my way through a degree in English literature - a passion I'd long abandoned - taking my time, being careful not to overload myself and learning to accept help in the form of doctor's notes and extensions. My perfectionism and need to accomplish this goal often worked against me. Nevertheless, thanks to my wonderful family, I have finally completed all of my courses and will be walking the stage to accept my diploma and prove my shooter wrong in May.
Though most of my symptoms have subsided, or can be managed, I still have bouts of depression, anxiety and panic. Fear is still at my heels. I find new triggers all the time, and I am still learning about my PTSD and how it affects my life.
(Ouf! That was hard to say...)
I was 17 when it happened. Now I am 24 and have finally graduated from university. It was hell having to go into the same environment as my trauma every day for the last 7 years. I have done many years of therapy and I am on Effexor XR - and not a light dose either. I have struggled with accepting my new life. I have struggled with every change in the road. I burned out 3/4 of the way through a degree in Conflict Studies and Human Rights. I really wanted to change the world so that no one had to go through the pain that I have. But talking about genocide every day and being told there is no solution, trying to live on my own and away from my support network in a different city, I was headed for disaster. Add to it a therapist who abandoned me in the middle of treatment without providing me with a replacement, and a mother going into surgery; my life, and my mental health, was falling apart.
It has been four years since I had to drop out of that program and move home to start again. I eased my way through a degree in English literature - a passion I'd long abandoned - taking my time, being careful not to overload myself and learning to accept help in the form of doctor's notes and extensions. My perfectionism and need to accomplish this goal often worked against me. Nevertheless, thanks to my wonderful family, I have finally completed all of my courses and will be walking the stage to accept my diploma and prove my shooter wrong in May.
Though most of my symptoms have subsided, or can be managed, I still have bouts of depression, anxiety and panic. Fear is still at my heels. I find new triggers all the time, and I am still learning about my PTSD and how it affects my life.
- Gender
- Female