Recent content by Femke

Thanks for all your responses. It helps to read those. I also have problems asserting or even feeling boundaries in other fields, but sexually I have the most difficulties, also because it feels the most hurtful when my boundaries are not taken into account (either by me or the other person or...

I'm a bit shy to discuss this, it feels awkward, but it is important to me. I was always a gentle, somewhat vulnerable girl and I was sexually abused as a child and adult. As a teen/young adult and even now I have problems with setting sexual boundaries. An example: just recently somebody I...

I received an intensive inpatient treatment for PTSD. We had daily EMDR and exposure therapy, 6 hours of sports a day and education about PTSD. It was extremely tough, but had good results! Before starting it I had a diagnosis of severe PTSD and (trauma related) psychotic disorder NOS. After I...

For people who want to try: I don't want to be negative, but do be careful with it. I have also read some very scary stories, e.g. about people doing really weird stuff and being left alone by the shaman or people turning psychotic from it. As I know quite well, that is even less fun than PTSD...

By jungle drugs, do you mean ayahuasca? Interesting that it helped you so much. I've been reading about it, both very positive experiences like yours and some negative warning experiences. I have had several psychotic breaks so I think I wouldn't dare try it. But good that it helped you!

Thanks for the reminder. I don't really have a plan yet, except that I'm searching for a good therapist to make a plan with me and do some decent therapeutic work. I've been referred to a team that is supposedly very good at healing trauma and psychosis. I'm also keeping good track of how I'm...

I have been struggling with PTSD, trauma related psychosis, anxiety/terror, depression, anger and anhedonia for years. I got psychotic again last winter, was severely drugged and send out of the ward. I felt dark, flat and suicidal. I thought I'd never recover. But now... unexpectedly... I feel...

Yes, I get angry, depressed and anxious during PMS. As soon as I have my period it starts to clear up and I feel better. In bad months I even get psychotic (when I'm not medicated). I've had several trauma related psychoses and they always happened 1 day before getting my period. My former male...

That's nice! Great!

I stay away from real relationships now. Besides the fact that I'm not a good partner myself right now, I also find it scary to trust a guy again. I don't think I will have a relationship ever again. I used to attract people who abused and used me and I don't want that anymore. So I too stay...

Yes :( An antipsychotic. I'm addicted now.

Thanks all. I don't have a therapist at the moment, looking for one. I have a psychiatrist, but all they did the last years is numb my emotions even more with medication. Which is one of the reasons I don't feel loving or joyful. I do think this is anhedonia! Partly because of PTSD, partly...

I don't know what to do for help. I haven't found a solution yet either. But I wanted to say that I recognize what you say. I used to be a positive, gentle, empathic girl. Now I am filled with anger. Anger at the people who hurt me in the past, ruminating over what happened. Anger at people for...

I feel like a really bad person at the moment. I feel like I have become worse than my abusers. I don't like the person I have become at all. I can't feel much love, happiness or empathy anymore, if any at all. Not even for my 5 year old son. I used to love him deeply, but now I feel detached...

Thanks for sharing how much diet helped you! I want to change my diet to see if it helps my PTSD and psychosis, but I find it difficult to stick to a diet. This gave me a reason to try again! Start with no-sugar no-caffein tomorrow.