Recent content by It's all my fault

@soulsearcher. I'm sorry your struggling. Being a parent is so difficult, add PTSD to the mix and it is even more so. I can understand wanting to just put things back and focus on your kids. I'm wondering if you are biting off too much with your healing and therapy. Perhaps instead of just...

Thank you all so much. Wow, @Solara you hit the ball out of the park. I never did think of relaxation and touch at the same time being too much but it absolutely is. It is instant overload. I need to have have control at all times. When you said you could initiate touch but if someone...

Solara, thanks for your reply. I've been with the T for 9 months and have never told a soul before. I'm 50. I also came from a very violent abusive alcoholic home. We first tried the emotional piece but the sexual abuse kept coming up...constantly so this has to be addressed first to make...

Does anyone know how or help me? I have both sexual and emotional abuse issues from childhood that came from two totally different men. My therapist is a SEP (somatic experiencing practioner) and does EMDR. She uses touch in her sessions. I let her touch my arm, was completely freaked out...

I feel your pain. It is tough. I'm finding the more I learn about childhood trauma the more validation I get for why I constantly feel guilty. It is a well known fact that because we could not control the situation, we must be bad. Something must be wrong with me if this happened to me. Its all...

I can relate to dissociation and EMDR. My therapist tells me my body dictates the pace. If you try to work on the trauma while you are dissociating the effort is futile. When I have forced the issue and wanted to speed up or not tell her when I am overloaded (she usually can tell) , I end up...

I'm impressed at your ability to step back and realize you may be over thinking this! That is such wonderful progress! For me, this is just beginning as usually I would have gone from "she can see me cause she's away" to "she wishes I were dead cause I s"**** so much!". Lol. So, good job for...

By the number of PTSD sufferers that have posted, you can see so many of us have been there and done that. I got to a point where people told me I couldn't kill myself but the pills were the only thing preventing me from ending it! I just couldn't cope, my situation was beyond my control. It...

I'm thinking of writing a letter to my abusers.I was molested 35+ years ago by a friends parents. Slowly this emotionally and then physically took my friends life as she too had suffered the abuse, only worse. They are old now and in their 70's and I want them to feel the pain they have caused...

Hi open eyes, It breaks my heart to think you are going thru this at age 16. It is so confusing to this day almost 40 years later. I really hope you are getting professional help, please don't wait like I did because it has negatively impacted every aspect of my life from professional, to...

Not sure if anyone has anything similar but I am riddled with guilt over sexual abuse at age 11. My best friend also was abused. It was her father. We were not together when this happened (I think) but wer individually molested. I believe she was abused for many, many many years. After...

I think quite a few of us suffer from the after effects of invalidation from our abuse. I know for me, it is a HUGE trigger whenever I feel invalidated. Knowledge is power however and I am trying to stand back and see if I am contributing to the severity of the invalidation feeling. DBT is...

I'm so sorry your struggling. I too find it hard to be in my therapists presence. Just her looking at me I feel small and terrified. I can understand your fear of feeling like you "were in trouble". It's like we are back in a child's body when we are present with out T. It is terrifying at...

How about you write her a letter and have her read it with you there. That's what I would do to make it a little easier. Otherwise you may not have enough time to get thru it before the session ends. Good luck! Your very brave.

So, I have wonderful siblings who love me very, very much. I had my first ever manic attack 3 years ago and it was beyond bad. I had multiple suicide attempts and was out of my mind!. I was truely crazy. It was then that the flashbacks started, bad. I remember part of what was done to me...