Recent content by Just Sayin'

  1. J

    The "pat My Head" Syndrome

    I do think it makes sense, but I don't want to assume too much. The childlike feeling for me is essentially feeling powerless, stuck and completely at the mercy of other people. In my case, I was a child at the time of trauma and completely vulnerable to the bigger, stronger "grown ups" on whom...
  2. J

    The "pat My Head" Syndrome

    Ugh. Me too. I have this thing where I assume that I'm the baseline. Anything I can do is what anyone can do. Everything I can't do are the things that have value. It's a subtle form of self-reinforcing self loathing. And to @Ragdoll Circus's point, it's cognitive distortion. Who says they're...
  3. J

    Acute Stress --->ptsd?

    @Noah, I'm glad you have somewhere to stay now. I'm also glad you feel secure enough to "fall apart" instead of being in basic survival mode. My situation and stressors are/have been different, but I can tell you that acute stress does trigger my PTSD. Prolonged severe stress does lead to...
  4. J

    Narcissism

    I agree with that. I think most people are more interested in their own needs than they are actively interested in "hunting" other humans for sport. But, the truth is that consequence is the same for me whether I'm collateral damage or prey. Whether the intent is to hurt me or not, I'm still...
  5. J

    Narcissism

    @Alice.in.Wonderland, I could've written this. I made my way to the definitions of narcissist/highly functioning sociopath for the same reasons -- it feels like they can smell the slightest chance of a nearly co-dependent "need" to please from across the room. You are not alone in what you've...
  6. J

    Narcissism

    Touché. In the context of the conversation, I did take for granted that the flavor of NPD that @Alice.in.Wonderland was specifically describing included anticocial elements if not full-on co-morbid disorders. I really wasn't trying to over-generalize or to say that all narcissists are also...
  7. J

    Narcissism

    @Alice.in.Wonderland, I agree with you (from your first post) that some behaviors do look like narcissistic traits and that we all probably display some of those traits at times. I applaud your self-awareness and your desire to "change" -- a not at all a narcissistic trait. Before I had my...
  8. J

    Narcissism

    I think this is a large part of it. You want to change because traits and behaviors because you want to do and be better than you are and because you desire connectedness. What motivation does someone who is already the absolute best and also in a different class (in their mind) than people...
  9. J

    Goodbye Everyone

    "Deserve?" That's not cool. I wish @CMan the best, and I hope he finds offline support that he doesn't affect him in the ways he describes online support does. It seems obvious that CMan was upset. I "heard" what he said and I do understand that it is hard to put yourself out there and...
  10. J

    Not Getting Better And Losing Faith

    @metis-siren, it seems like you do have a plan! It may not be as much of one as you'd like or as rounded out to include an apporach to the depression, but it is really amazing and inspiring what you're proactively doing to care for yourself. I agree with another comment I saw -- I'd heed your...
  11. J

    Toxic Shame And Guilt

    Anytime, @Celtic. We each of us give and take the grace in turn. We're kind because we understand and are understood, and knowing you're not alone is a huge comfort. For what it's worth: there's a difference between wrong and mistaken. It's the same difference between a lie and a mistake. If I...
  12. J

    Toxic Shame And Guilt

    I feel that way about my high school. Specifically. And all the people I went to school with. My trauma happened at home, so ... I'm not sure exactly why except it was a) high school and b) the same time frame. Just seeing someone I went to school with takes me back ... In the aftermath of the...
  13. J

    "make The Choice To Move Past It"

    @scout86, I had the same thought you did. I also thought. "What if he's repressing, dissociating and/or in denial?" Not denial that the trauma occurred of course -- he's there telling the story of it -- but denial that it DOES affect him. Telling his story in this way seems more like distancing...
  14. J

    I Am Not Dealing Well

    @lostforgottensoul, you might be lost, but you're not forgotten. I would love to tell you that I understand. But, I don't. I can't even begin to imagine what you're feeling. If it's god's prerogative to forgive, it's between her and god ... if there is one and if he/she/it forgives her...
  15. J

    Another Holiday Ruined

    So many truths here. @Silver-lr, you deserve to be okay. And if that means no bbq today, then that means no bbq today. I get overwhelmed and overloaded frequently ... especially when there's no down time between hectic days or events. You're not alone. It's understandable. Be kind to...
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