Recent content by Lilac5598

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    It feels like my mind is splitting in two

    For the longest time, I've felt like the more I thought about a memory, the more vague it became. But tonight, I realized that's not quite accurate. When thinking about bad memories, it feels like my mind splits into two. I have the part that is "playing" the memory and the part that protecting...
  2. L

    Is this dissociation?

    Your advice as well as all the other advice I've been getting has been very helpful. It's given me a different perspective, something I will truly think about.
  3. L

    Is this dissociation?

    I do want to work on the hard stuff, that was the point of starting this. I can see it's going to be a more difficult journey than I imagined but in the long run, it will be worth it.
  4. L

    Is this dissociation?

    That makes sense. I don't really like it but, like you said, we don't go there for a friendly chat. I started with this therapist not really knowing that I would have this trouble. I didn't unterstand what was happening when I would check out before I started seeing her. I knew that when I was...
  5. L

    Is this dissociation?

    Are you saying that she is intentionally asking these things knowing it could cause me to check out?
  6. L

    Is this dissociation?

    I feel like my original post wasn't as clear as I intended. It's hard for me to describe what actually happens during these episodes. I have two main situations that they happen in, one being my therapists office and the other being around my family, especially my parents house. When I'm around...
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    Is this dissociation?

    She was definitely heading somewhere I wasn't comfortable with. She does realize what triggers me, well some of them since I'm not sure of them all. I know when this happened, when I was able to, I guess come back, she was apologizing. She wanted me to talk to her about what had just happened...
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    Is this normal, wanting to stay in a dissociative state?

    I've only noticed it with my therapist and when I'm around my dad/in my parents home. When I'm there, there are a lot of bad/triggering memories of loss that I find difficult to handle. (This seems to happen only in response to my trauma as far as I can tell) I've only really experienced this...
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    Is this normal, wanting to stay in a dissociative state?

    Thankfully, she does know that I'm having this happen. We know a few things in particular that trigger me. She isn't ready to give me her opinion on what's happening. Mainly, she is sticking to trying to teach me healthy coping skills. That's kind of what I figured. I know she has mentioned...
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    Is this normal, wanting to stay in a dissociative state?

    It isn't that I don't want to talk with her. I've just started seeing her a little over 2 months ago and we are kind of, just figuring out what overwhelms me. When I hit that tipping point, I guess, and the world fades away, I think maybe more than anything I'm afraid that she might try to talk...
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    Is this normal, wanting to stay in a dissociative state?

    Is it normal to not want to leave the altered state you're in? Especially while talking to my therapist, I don't want to leave it because it gets me away from her and her questions to somewhere safe.
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    Is this dissociation?

    Hi. I've been seeing a therapist for a bit over 2 months. I have times where when talking to her, I have periods of time where I know she is talking but I can't really hear her. While that is happening, I notice that I don't quite feel like I'm there anymore, like I'm insulated somehow. Also...
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