Recent content by MD and VA

Thanks, Debbie, I see what you are saying, but his pulling away, as he explains it, is in response to my not being adventurous. His pulling away hasn't been in response to my talking about being raped or discussing it's impact on us at all. This week was the first time I had ever made the...

The odd thing is that he has know about this part of my past but acted the other night as if he had never heard of it before. "I knew something had happened to you but I didn't know you had been raped." But, he did know, we did talk about it. We even specifically discussed that it would be...

Thank you for your comment. This was the first time, ever, in our marriage that this has come up as a barrier or reason for why he does not want to be intimate with me. After our son was born, 3 years into our marriage, he completely pulled away from me. He has never cited a reason until now...

Thank you so much for your post. I need to leave for an early morning meeting and will be away from my computer all day, but will check back tonight in 12-15 hours. Thank everyone for their support and posts. It is helpful to read this advice.

I tried to discuss this with him tonight. It was bedtime and he had just tried to be silly and playful with me, smiling and tapping my rib, and I asked him what was going on -- that I was remembering his comment and didn't feel playful or silly. He does not see anything wrong with his comment...

It's like you're right here in the room with me. You've hit the nail on the head. He makes me feel guilty for being sad that he didn't plan a family dinner for my bday last month -- no family time. As a two-income household, or even if we had a one-income household, it should not be too much...

He has become increasingly more self-absorbed with each passing year. :( We just had our anniversary which I chose to spend without him, at the beach with our sons and our our dogs, and he posted 4 or 5 wedding pics of us on his FB page while we were out of town. It's very confusing b/c on...

I wouldn't think I'd have to make my husband give a damn. I hear what you are saying.

I'm not currently in therapy for myself. I think he would consider going to couples therapy again to address this, but, honestly, I'm kind of tapped out. It was very hard for us to find a couples therapist in the past, and I'm so emotionally spent at this point, I'm not sure I have the energy...

I am crushed. But it's also so confusing if you can imagine, the person I'm married to, acting so indifferent to me.

It happened years before we even met. We have been through couples counseling in the course of our marriage but never have addressed this -- it has all been about poor communication between us and not being able to be emotionally supportive of each other. He lives his life very independently...

I am brand new to this forum; I found it while looking online to find resources for my husband who told me last weekend "I didn't rape you" in response to my telling him that my rape more than likely affects our sex life. He does not understand that my having been raped affects me, and so, if...