Recent content by Montgomery

I guess you're right. It doesn't feel worth it though, and i can't see how my life could ever be beautiful. I try really hard but it just feels unrealistic. That's the problem i guess. Even if im wrong. Thank you <3 Im glad you think im expressing myself "brilliantly", i always feel like i...

I just feel like even if i get better it won't be enough. And that my abuser pretty much ruined me and there is no way of me functioning in a healthy or normal way again. I definitely feel like the mental effects of the abuse are irreversible and because of them i can never be happy again. It...

Give him an ultimatum? Either he stops acting like an idiot or you leave. What he is doing is abusive.

Yeah i do and i've mentioned it but she didn't seem to know much about dreams or she just didn't think it was very important. She's not a trauma specialist thought, on the waiting list for that.

Ugh i hate it. It's so confusing and invalidating. But at least we're not alone in this.

Sorry i totally forgot to reply to this cuz im dumb lmao. Yeah i actually read some of your diary during the time that this post was getting absolutely no response. And it made me feel a little better knowing that someone else had a similar experience, as bad as that sounds. If you don't mind...

God i hope so. Thank you <3

The thing is though, i didn't really have good times with my ex. Especially not sexually. I never enjoyed it. I think the confusion comes from not realizing it was abuse or "assault" until months later. For every sexual encounter i was dissociating, uncomfortable and in pain. Certain bodily...

Yeah maybe my brain is just trying to normalize and rationalize it. It still f*cking sucks when you wake up though. Probably very stress related like you're saying as well.

Usually the first few sessions are pretty make or break for me. I'd imagine most people take longer to form a connection though.

My gooood. I'm so glad im not alone in this haha. Yeah it's really horrible, it makes me question my feelings about him and drives me crazy. I wonder wth it means.

Yeah for sure. Good riddance to him but OUCH.

Wow that's terrible. I'm sorry you had to endure that but it sounds like it taught you a lot. Always a silver lining i suppose... The thing with my friend is that i feel like he understood. He reacted as if he did. He definetly understood the part about it affecting me in a horribly negative...

I'm really upset atm. I had this friend who i was really close to, especially before the breakup with my abusive ex. And a while after the breakup i basically told him that if he was still gonna associate with my ex i couldn't be around him anymore for a while, possibly ever. I just couldn't...

I don't have bipolar but i have Social Anxiety Disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder and Dysphoria. They're definetly co-morbid and feed off each other like crazy. When i first was diagnosed with Social Anxiety it took me a while to realize that it was cause by BDD which i was then diagnosed with...