Recent content by ms.mermaid

Honestly, @Saelben, I don't even know how to approach her. I know I should have lost contact with her completely after I left in my late teens, but I was so terrified of losing that connection to my youngest brother and sister, who I pretty much built my strength around to carry me through my...

Thanks so much to all of you for the feedback. This place has made me feel a lot less alone in this tiring journey. I have taken the past week and a half off from work, and may take a couple more until the meds adjust things. I saw my new Psychiatrist today, she was spoken of very highly by her...

I voluntarily went to be evaluated, at my T's suggestion, on Thursday. After five hours of repetitive questions, they admitted me overnight to Psych. I can't really say where my head was, but the realization that I couldn't go home had me bawling nearly the whole 24 hours. After I had my...

Things are hazy and strange inside. Time is vanishing while tuned into internal dialogue. Suicidal fixation and urge to self harm have subsided, not vanished, but quieter. Parts of myself have been demanding to be heard, deeply hurt by my critic, trying to soothe the me that wants to stop...

I'm pretty sure she's a social worker and outside if that, I don't know if she has any specialties in any particular area. She's a lovely seeming person, but very busy. She talks to me about what I do to make myself feel better. I'm afraid to tell her that I habitually smoke marijuana just to...

So much fear. I'm so isolated. Too afraid to tell anyone how fractured my reality is. Missing time. Can't preform happiness for anyone but the friends, they need it. Have to have it. Can't talk to my therapist. Can't explain that this feels bigger than PTSD and I am losing control. I'm...

This. I thought I had ADHD. I cant imagine a life without 5 ongoing conversations with myself happening internally and forgetting that I'm supposed to be somewhere. My body does things for me, sometimes it's helpful, other times my body hurts itself because I'm off in thoughts, leaving it...

@shimmerz This really resonates with me. I've tried to describe this notion to my partner during psychedelic experiences, which for me revealed a self that was more constructed of roles to others. My sister self, my daughter self, my girlfriend self, my mother, my therapist. It was very hard...

Thanks so much for the hospitality. A lot of this is very new for me. It's been nice, at least, to put a name to the craziness of how I've been feeling for so long. Sorting through my triggers and finding positive ways to cope has been really stressful. I've been living my life for others for so...

My partner found himself addicted to a research chemical being presented as "Bliss", but was a compound based on mephedrone. At 19, after six months of drug induced Psychosis, he landed in rehab. He hasn't used since, but the struggle is real. He is 5 years out from rehab, but the fact is, he...

I'm comfortable with crazy. In spite of the shitty things that have happened in my life, I've been afforded more positive experiences that allowed me to have a more compassionate worldview than what I was raised with. I feel like some of the most out there folks I've met have also had the most...

I'm doing my best to keep going. Therapy has been slow and my therapist had so many clients, I can hardly see her more than once a month. It leaves me feeling numb, just hanging on until I get my hour again. I don't have many close friends, just my partner and coworkers who've known me a few...

I understand not wanting to be a burden. I just got here, too, but I hope you find help and support. Sometimes sharing your burdens can be hard, but it's harder, I think to carry them alone. Best wishes for you, Ian.

Hello. I'm Ariel. 24. Midwestern USA, unfortunately. I don't know why I'm doing this, because I never keep up with things, but I'm trying again, now that I've been back in therapy for a couple of months. I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2011, as the walls closed in on me, and I was staring at the...