Recent content by Not a real Seashell

  1. N

    Blending of Past and Present

    @insignificant i think every reaction I have is from feedback I received, either as a child or from my abusive husband. That's a grand total of 59 years, and I know that on most things my perception is warped because of the negative feedback I received for so long. I'm finding I need to take a...
  2. N

    Blending of Past and Present

    OK, technology got me again. I'm too slow to edit and reply in one fell swoop so it'll be individual posts. @grit. I am learning that I have been the family scapegoat. I went thmy life thinking my childhood was normal but I had nothing to compare it to. I absorbed all the demeaning and...
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    Blending of Past and Present

    Ugg nothing can make me feel inept and frustrated like trying to figure out this message board so if I make mistakes, please overlook it. Thank you for all the replies, you've given me much to think about. My first instinct is to apologize for taking so long to reply. One small baby step for me...
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    Blending of Past and Present

    Thanks Movingforward. The rational side of my brain knows all those things are true. I'm having to beat back the other side (names escape me right now) that's trying to go into red alert. I know this wouldn't be surfacing if I wasn't strong enough to deal with it. I know it's a good thing, I...
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    Blending of Past and Present

    Thanks Movingforward, YES, it's more of a sense. Somethings there but it's hazy and disappears before I can determine what it is. It makes perfect sense, the brain is awakening and/because you're in a better place to handle it. I feel like I'm in that spot too. It's both frightening and...
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    Blending of Past and Present

    I have barely started my journey into recovery from C-PTSD. I was just diagnosed a year ago and dove in head first because I just couldn't handle the intense anxiety anymore. My T has been an amazing fit and with her help I've been able to come pretty far in just a year, read a lot of books, and...
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    Sufferer Jumping in - depression, anxiety, abusive spouse, believe I have cPTSD

    Thanks Ladee. Your right, there is something to be said about being 60. I do know what I want. I do know what I need. I’ve been silent for so long now, holding it all in,not being able to connect to anyone in real life because I lost the ability to trust, other people and me. Still afraid of...
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    Sufferer Jumping in - depression, anxiety, abusive spouse, believe I have cPTSD

    I’m 60 and it seems like it’s only been this last year I’ve gotten the right kind of help. But it’s because I no longer have the gaslighting husband who not only gaslit me but my doctors too. There are so many layers, being taught as a child I was less than led me to a marriage that only...
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    Sufferer Jumping in - depression, anxiety, abusive spouse, believe I have cPTSD

    Hi everyone, It’s been a long time since I posted on a message board. It’s taking a lot of courage for me to do this, years ago I was a regular on a depression message board, posted for years before I found out my husband and son read everything I had ever written. On that message board...
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