Recent content by Nothing

Yesterday my son ran into a stick he was running with (I've told him not to do so many times but ay 7 year olds are apt to ignore you and think you are talking crazy when you say they could seriously hurt themselves. I was in the kitchen, heard him scream, ran outside, saw him stumbling and...

Terribly. Slept terribly. Had a few nightmares, and feel awful this morning. Don't want to face today. I want so desperately to sleep, but at the same time I don't want to sleep because I don't want any more nightmares. An impasse that seems impossible to get over at the moment. Every night is...

Thank you @shimmerz, I never thought of the video taping idea to look for a physical marker of "about to go". What a good idea! @Crayon, I think everyone is different and our therapists/psychologists/psychiatrists are going to adapt what they think we need to each person as an individual. :hug:

@HelenB thank you for sharing your experience with me, EDMR sounds interesting, there's only one guy who does it in my area but I've sent him an email asking him if he knows anyone else down here who does it, as his page states he's not taking any more patients. You've helped me more than you...

I've got to go out in a minute, but I'll get back to this either tonight or tomorrow morning. :)

I spent a lot of time last night thinking on this topic. I'm sick of the see-saw effect of dissociation and re-experiencing. On the one hand I want to be whole and be dealing with it and be at peace with my past and the traumas, but on the other hand I'm terrified I won't be able to cope...

Thank you @MissMacD, it really is a useful mechanism whilst trauma is occurring. I am sorry you have had traumas that have caused you to need to use it. :hug:

I can see what you mean, and I can see many examples in my adult life where I have been in dangerous situations perhaps because of impaired judgement because of the dissociation. I guess I'm a bit hesitant to trust that not being dissociated will protect me anyway, because I've always felt like...

@greenleaf, thank you for your reply. I hope to be able to get to that place you are getting to at the moment, to be able to work through the feelings slowly and not having it be so overwhelming.

This is a great term for it!

Thank you @TimeToHeal, I haven't had a chance to talk to my psychologist yet, I'll be seeing her on Tuesday. I'll have to ask her about this. Thank you for explaining what "numbing" is, I get confused between all the different labels for things, it's good to know I'm not the only one who can't cry.

Thank you @HelenB for taking the time to read and reply. If you don't mind me asking, how did you learn to live with the little girl, as in how did you learn to work through it all and bring things to a place of safety? I have no compassion for my little girl me, just hatred. You are brave and...