ParalyzedMind

Former physician that is used to very high-strung and high demand work and life. After a 2-day event, followed by months of after effects, I have been diagnosed with PTSD after a prolonged stress reaction. The first couple of months after event was a state of constant numbness, then EMDR managed to get me back to normal, or so I thought, the recurring thoughts is with me always unless I do ANYTHING else to forget about it.

I still have my healing skills; my medical knowledge and clinical sense, but my emotional state is so fragile and volatile that continuing on to practice medicine would be grossly irresponsible, IMHO.

Having to readjust to being a patient and accept others taking care of me is absolutely awful. I have been seen by a super-experienced, top-notch psychiatrist with multiple decades of experience and a university faculty appointment along with being trained psychotherapist so I am stuck with this diagnosis and I HATE IT. At the same time I have resigned to this fate and am now trying to figure out what is next for me in life.